How Soon To Ask For A Second Date

When is the best time to ask a girl out on a second date?

The fact you are asking this question probably means that you haven’t tried setting up a second date as soon as your first date was over.

And I’m actually glad that you did not rush into setting up a second date for the reasons I will shortly reveal in this article.

After you are done with this article, you should have a clear idea of when is the right time to ask her out on a second date.

By the way, the 4th point in this article is my biggest “hack” to reviving a girl’s interest for a second date when she goes cold, so don’t miss it!

1. Do not take too long

The longer you wait, the more likely things are going to cool down between the two of you, and she is soon going to forget about you.

You certainly do not want to rush things, but you also do not want to wait for too long before you ask her out.

You are still not that emotionally relevant in her mind, so there is a good chance she may explore other options if you take too much of your time to ask her out again.

If you feel there was a good chemistry on the first date, then let her know that it was fun hanging out with her over the text.

You will be able to tell whether she felt the same way about you or not, based on how she replies back to your text message.

If she promptly replies back to your message, or even ask a question over text, it is obviously a very positive sign that she is interested in seeing you again.

If she takes a long time to reply back, and she doesn’t seem that interested in continuing a conversation over text message, she is likely not too interested in seeing you again for the time being.

Now, that doesn’t mean all hope is lost as you will soon find out.

2. Do not ask too early

It is also a mistake to ask for a second date too early.

This is because you will likely appear needy and desperate if you are too eager to meet her for the second time as soon as your first date is over.

Women love to wonder about whether a man is into her or not.

Don’t take that gift away from her by being too obvious with your intention.

This is why I tell men to avoid setting up a second date on their first date.

Just let her know you enjoyed spending time with her (if you did), and that you will talk to her soon.

As we had mentioned in the previous section, you first want to text her to see how responsive she is before you consider asking her out.

If she barely even responds to your text message, there really is no point in trying to set up a second date.

If she is responsive to your text, you can set up a date to see her again within the next 5-7 days.

3. End your first date well to ask for a second date

This is more applicable if you have not yet been on a first date with her.

But, even if you have already gone on a first date with her, this would be useful to know for the future reference.

When you are on your first date with a girl, I want you to do your best to end your first date on a high note.

You may have heard of the “recency” effect.

It is basically an inherent bias in our brain in which the most recent information is best remembered and is given the greatest weight in forming a judgment about something.

So, within the context of dating, it means there is a good chance that the girl is going to remember the last part of the date more vividly than what happened in the middle.

You may have had awesome interaction with her during the date, but if things fizzled out toward the end of your date, there is a good chance that is going to be her overall impression of the date.

Knowing this, it makes sense to put an extra effort into elevating her mood as your date nears end.

Don’t just draw out your date for the sake of spending more time with her. You should always prioritize quality time over quantity especially on the first few dates.

Don’t let your interaction fizzle out before you guys separate.

Make her laugh. Playfully tease her. Dance with her.

Do whatever it takes to give her that feeling of rush before she leaves you.

4. Call her if she is not receptive

This is one of my biggest “hacks” to turn things around if a girl is not quite receptive after the first date.

It is much more difficult to influence someone’s thoughts and feelings with words alone.

But, it will be a lot easier if you are able to use your tonality to convey your emotion.

The easiest way to make someone feel a certain type of emotion is to feel that emotion yourself and transfer it onto the other person.

But, it’s hard to transfer your feelings over text messages.

It is, however, a lot easier to do it over the phone when the other person can hear your voice.

So, let’s say you had a mediocre first date, and the girl isn’t so sure whether she wants to see you again.

It is usually a futile attempt to change her mind by sending her a bunch of text messages.

Text messages can be powerful, but it is less effective when it is used as a last attempt to save what you messed up in your interaction with the girl.

But, I can’t even count how many times I turned things around by picking up my phone and calling a girl who was not exactly down to hang out.

Not only does a girl’s whole demeanor usually change when she is on the phone with you (making it easier to influence and persuade her), but you can also get everything done in a much more time efficient manner.

It may potentially take days to set up a date over text messages, but it can be done in less than 5 minutes over the phone.

So, take a deep breath and dial her number.

On a side note, make sure you call her in the evening (or as soon as she answers your text since you know she has her phone in her hand) when she is most likely to answer.

When you get her on the phone, joke around and keep things light and playful.

Do not show any signs that you were emotionally affected by her lack of receptiveness.

Simply offer great (but relaxed) energy, and focus on having fun in a conversation.

You can then go ahead and ask her out on a second date.

5. Do not reveal all of your cards

It is important that a girl does not lose curiosity about you when she is in the initial stage of getting to know you.

If she loses all of her curiosity before she is emotionally attached to you, then it is unlikely her interest in you is going to last long.

It doesn’t mean you have to be manipulative or be an evil person to maintain her interest level.

But, it does mean you have to become a man with standards.

If you are completely sold on her from the very first date before you even had a chance to get to know her well, then you are essentially communicating to her that you barely have any standards.

Once again, this doesn’t mean you can’t be positive, playful, or put an effort into having a lot of fun with a girl on a date.

But, you certainly do not want to give off this impression that you will jump at the first opportunity to sleep with her or date her.

For this reason, it is a good idea to clearly define what sort of behaviors you are or aren’t willing to tolerate from a woman.

When you define and internalize a certain set of standards, it is going to naturally show when you are talking to a girl.

And girls are going to respect you more and chase you more as a result.

About the Author Jon Go

I was Introduced to the world of seduction after being a virgin for the first 26 years of life and being dumped by my first girlfriend at the age of 28. The dating world wasn't so kind to a 28-year-old Asian man who barely had any experience with girls. But, I eventually cracked the "code" and began "attracting" two to three new girls a week on average when I was actively going out. I'm not mentioning that to impress you but to impress upon you that you can take your dating life to the next level... IF you are equipped with the right knowledge and a desire to take massive action.