There can always be a lot of different reasons for this.
But I want to focus on the three key points for today.
And the last point I will mention in this article is by FAR the most “toxic” form of rejection.
Let’s dive right…
The first possible reason is…
You just are not her type
It’s not so different from people having a different preference for music for example.
Some people are into rock. Some people are into Hip-hop and some people are into K-pop.
Some genre might be more popular during certain times… but ultimately everyone has a different preference.
It’s the same when it comes to dating preference.
Some girls are into muscular dudes. Some girls are into pretty guys. Some girls are even into average Asian dudes.
The problem with most guys is they are trying to be a rockstar when they are born to be an amazing country singer…
Or they are trying to excel in basketball when they are naturally gifted at soccer.
Because sometimes… somewhere… someone… told them that is what is “cool”.
Hey… don’t get me wrong…
Even if you don’t have a natural aptitude for something… if that is your true passion and you feel like you just can’t fucking breathe without it then fucking go for it.
Who am I to say you should or shouldn’t
But if you are focusing on those because you think that is what is going to bring you financial success or more women into your life… then I sincerely believe you will get those quicker by focusing on your natural strength.
Now… there are certain things in life that I think you just have to get better at whether you’re gifted with natural ability or not.
And I believe communication is one of those skills which is one of the reasons why I write and record video daily – apart from helping others out who are experiencing the same pain as I had before – to improve my communication skill.
But really ask yourself this…
And this is where having that self-awareness is so crucial.
What exactly are you good at..?
And what is the most attractive version of yourself?
Not anyone else’s… but yourself.
The second possibility is…
She may be turned off by your personality
Without developing your personality, you will never ever get the type of girl you truly deserve.
It doesn’t matter if you are a model looking dude.
I know plenty of good looking guys who just settle for girls they are not even really into both in terms of personality and looks… because never learned to develop their personality.
You may be born with good hardware, but your internal is all messed up.
You struggle to look at girls in the eyes when you feel like she’s too good for you.
You subconsciously modify your behavior to cater to her bullshit… when you think she’s above your league… instead of being yourself.
You take things way too seriously and personally… instead of just crunching that little ego of yours… and throwing it into the trashcan.
Until you fix your personality, you will never reach your true potential in dating life.
But this is by far the most common problem for most guys.
You reject yourself before anyone else does
More often than not, you are the one who’s rejecting yourself.
You let your fear stop you from asking her out, going for that kiss, and being more intimate with her.
Maybe the girl in front of you is just totally loving everything you say for whatever fucking reason… and now you are scared of losing that validation.
You are scared you might make it awkward or she may think differently of you… if you ask her for her number or if you make that next move.
I really want to emphasize this point.
You should be really careful of the trap of positive validation
I know how easy it is – especially when you suffered from anxiety and being socially awkward most of your life – to let that positive validation stop you from staying true to yourself.
And what I mean by that is.. when you finally meet that person who actually seems to care for you… it is so tempting to change your behavior in a way you think that will make them like you more.
In fact, it is a lot harder to be your true self around others who like you or look up to you… than around those who hate your gut.
When someone hates you, it’s easy to just ignore or hate him back.
When someone loves you, it’s a lot more difficult to ignore what they think of you.
Because you are so afraid to lose their validation.
Fear of losing something that we “already” have is a much bigger drive than the possibility of gaining something new.
But that’s the trap.
Now, people can feel you inauthenticity and you don’t even feel good about yourself… because you know you are being fake even if it’s just a slight bit.
And it’s all downhill from there.
So do not ever… ever act a certain way because you think that’s the version of you that the other person likes.
Only change your behavior if it’s out of your own willingness and motivation to transform yourself into a better version.
Not because you are trying to stay consistent with what other people expect of you.
Anyway, that’s it for today.
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I was Introduced to the world of seduction after being a virgin for the first 26 years of life and being dumped by my first girlfriend at the age of 28. The dating world wasn't so kind to a 28-year-old Asian man who barely had any experience with girls. But, I eventually cracked the "code" and began "attracting" two to three new girls a week on average when I was actively going out. I'm not mentioning that to impress you but to impress upon you that you can take your dating life to the next level... IF you are equipped with the right knowledge and a desire to take massive action.
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