“I’m sorry I’m not into Asian guys…”
You are probably not too unfamiliar with hearing that sentence from a girl if you are an Asian man who grew up in the Western world.
So, is it true that White girls (or girls of any race for that matter) are not into Asian men, or is it just an exaggerated statement?
Let’s first talk about some of the possible reasons that may repel White girls from Asian men.
By the way, make sure you don’t miss the last part about being comfortable with your own sexuality, and why it may be killing your chances with women.
Asian men are fragile Asian men are perceived as shorter, smaller, and weaker than men of other races.
So, is this just a stereotype?
You can certainly come across Asian men who are big every once in a while, but Asian men do seem to be smaller than men of other races on average.
And this is not good news for an Asian man when it comes to
attracting women in Western countries.
Without a doubt, there are certain types of girls who do not mind if their man is smaller than them.
But, those girls are in the minority.
Most women prefer their men to have a bigger frame (body) than them.
This is largely because women want to feel protected by their men.
It is hard to feel secure and protected when her man weighs as much as a 15-year-old girl.
So, if you are an Asian man who fits into this stereotype, then you are going to struggle to maximize your dating potential.
A lot of Asian men have this belief that it is their height that holds them back the most.
This is not exactly true based on what I’ve witnessed in person.
I’ve known plenty of short Asian men that do extremely well with women.
What they all had in common, however, was that they had a
bigger frame (physically) than your average Asian man.
You can consider this good news if you are an Asian man.
You can’t change your height, but you certainly can increase the size of your body.
If you naturally have a smaller frame, then I highly recommend you to start lifting if you aren’t doing it already.
But, I want you to stay away from lifting like a gym-bro by only training arms and chest every day.
That style of training is not going to give you the best result when it comes to putting a lot of mass on your body.
What you should do instead is to start a workout routine that includes lots of heavy compound movements, such as squat, deadlift, bench, pull-ups, and dips.
These are the exercises that are going to give you the most bang for your buck.
It really doesn’t matter how ripped you are if you are built like a little pre-pubescent boy.
You first need to
build overall size before you even worry about getting a ripped body.
A lot of men get fixated on keeping their body fat low, and they don’t allow themselves to gain bodyweight to build enough muscle.
While I do not encourage you to become obese in the process of gaining muscle, you should be okay with the fact that you will be putting on some fat.
Your body requires a caloric surplus to gain muscle which means you will inevitably gain a little bit of fat in the process of gaining muscle.
To sum up, put your effort into developing a bigger body frame rather than focusing on getting ripped.
Asian men are awkward and weird
This is actually a bigger problem for most Asian men than having a smaller physique.
Asian cultures do not put a lot of emphasis on developing social skills from a young age.
Most Asian men are encouraged to focus heavily on their academics and getting a good career.
And they are told by their parents that everything else will fall into place once they take care of those things.
Therefore, Asian men usually turn out to be
They never got a chance to practice how to express their thoughts and feelings from a young age, and they reach adulthood with repressed emotions as a result.
So, is it really a surprise why most Asian men massively struggle to connect with another human being when they grew up under such circumstances?
We’ve identified the problem, but what is the solution?
What exactly is the best way to improve your social skills if you are an Asian man?
For you to answer this question, you first need to identify some of the shortcomings in your personality.
Since it is impossible for me to give you personalized advice, I’ll go over some of the most common issues I’ve noticed among a lot of Asian men.
1. Most Asian men take things way too seriously
They can’t let loose, and they get offended easily.
This is a great way to kill a girl’s attraction toward you.
No girl (or anyone for that matter) wants to be around someone with a heavy negative energy.
If a girl feels like she has to constantly watch everything she says, so you don’t get offended, then she is not going to want to spend a lot of time with you.
As an Asian man, you really need to cultivate the ability to make jokes and take jokes.
You need to
learn how to be playful and not take things so seriously.
If you can permanently incorporate that playfulness into your personality, you will never ever have to worry about attracting girls (and people) into your life.
We all want to be around a person who is chill and do not take things seriously.
So, how can you cultivate this part of your personality?
One advice I can give you is to expose yourself more to watching comedies and shows that make you laugh.
You need to find out what type of humor makes you laugh.
You can then practice incorporating whatever style of humor that you enjoy into your interaction with others.
For example, I personally love awkward humor, and it cracks me up every time I intentionally make things awkward when I talk to other people.
You obviously do not want to go overboard with your jokes to the point that you end up offending others, but you will only develop that ability to calibrate as you continue to talk to more people.
But, more often than not, when you embody that playfulness and carefreeness in your personality, you will be able to get away with saying whatever you want.
Girls are much more sensitive to the intention behind your words rather than your words alone.
If your intention is good (and you know how to communicate that properly with your tonality and body language), then they are still going to love you even if your words may be somewhat offensive.
2. Most Asian men don’t know how to lead
Most Asian men are incredibly bad at leading in a decisive manner.
Asian cultures are all about fitting in and not causing any chaos within the group.
If someone tries to become a leader by stepping up, there is a good chance that person is going to receive a strong backlash.
So, it is no wonder that an Asian man would rather follow orders rather than
speaking his mind by voicing his opinions and preferences.
That way, he can at least avoid facing public humiliation.
While assuming the position of a follower may help you fit in, this is not how you want to carry yourself if you want to attract women.
As a man, you are expected to lead along every step of your interaction with women.
If you can’t lead (or you lead in a not-so-convincing way), then your chance of making anything happen with a girl is slim to none.
No matter how much a girl likes you, she is not going to lead and make things happen for you (in 99% of cases).
It is on you to dictate where you are going to take the interaction.
There is no easy solution to this than you simply getting used to leading through repetition.
When you are
on a date with a girl, I want you to get used to telling her what you want to do.
If you want to go to your favorite bar, then tell her you would like to take her there.
If you want her to come back to your place for one more drink, then let her know.
A woman doesn’t want to be with a man who does not know what he wants.
It is often better to make a bad decision in a swift manner (and with conviction) than a good decision that took ages to reach.
Women will often feel a stronger attraction toward the former than the latter.
So, don’t show hesitation when it is time for you to lead.
3. Asian men are afraid to be sexual
When is the last time you’ve heard Asian parents giving sex education to their children?
Most Asian parents are reluctant to talk about anything that relates to sex in front of their children.
And this obviously leads to a lot of Asian men developing a strong sense of shame when it comes to talking about sex.
If a man struggles to be comfortable with his own sexuality, then it is going to be extremely difficult for him to get physically intimate with a woman he interacts with.
I personally struggled with this a lot growing up.
I grew up (wrongly) believing that women hate talking about sex.
This made me feel extremely guilty every time I would bring up anything that remotely relates to sex in a conversation with women.
Needless to say, I did not have too much luck when it comes to having a sexual relationship with women until I overcame this mental barrier.
So, what is the best way to overcome your fear of being sexual with girls?
The most important thing is to shift your mindset.
You need to realize that women love sex as much as men.
Otherwise, our species would not have survived.
It is important to note, however, that most girls don’t enjoy talking about sexually explicit stuff with a man that they are not comfortable with.
But, a girl will be more than excited to talk about sex when she feels safe and comfortable around you.
A good way to bring up sexual topics into a conversation is to package them with playfulness.
If you can maintain that playful energy when you talk about sex, you will be able to prevent any sort of creepy energy from potentially arising in your conversation with women.
Anyway, I hope this article helped you gain greater clarity on this subject!