So, what is the next course of action when she just wants to be friends with you? Should you become her friend?
The simple answer is you should not be just her friend. Stop showering her with any more of your attention when she doesn’t deserve it. Avoid spending so much time with her since you will just become more attached. And you should get out of your house and talk to more girls.
Let’s get into the details about why it is incredibly a bad idea to just remain as her friends if you still like her.
The fact she told you she just wants to be friends with you means you already clearly communicated your intention to her.
You are romantically interested in her but she is not.
There is a conflict of interest.
But more importantly, there is no reason for a confident man with abundant options to be wasting any of his time with a girl who just wants to be friends with him (Unless he’s the one who decided to friend-zone her).
There are just so many other things you could be doing with your time, instead of hearing her talk about her tinder dates, or the last guy she fornicated with.
You took the initiative to let your intention known, and she rejected your advance.
Just leave it at that.
Don’t try to drag on this pointless relationship by being her friends, and hoping one day you may get a chance to be her second option when she is heartbroken by some asshole.
Sadly, that is what a lot of guys do.
They just remain as a girl’s friend because they secretly hope the girl will have a change of heart sometime in the future.
Sure. If you are in the right place at the right time with her, it is a possibility.
Or she may feel more horny than usual on a random night she is out with you, and things can happen (especially when you are both drunk).
But more often than not, you are only going to cement your identity as a needy, desperate beta male in her eyes, by remaining as her friends.
Do you really want to be the one to sit there for hours and listen to her emotional rants, when there are other dudes who managed to enter her within a few hours of meeting her?
If that is your thing, you can go ahead.
But I do think any man who has self-respect for himself would not want to be a part of that.
If you feel too terrible about completely cutting a friendship with her, then start spending less time with her.
Only talk to her and spend time with her when you don’t have to sacrifice any of your important commitments.
Because that is practically what she is doing.
She likes the validation and attention she gets from you, but she does not value you enough to enter into any form of commitment.
Do not ever let a girl walk all over you by prioritizing her over you.
You can remain as her friends, and hang out with her every now and then when you are bored.
But, you would want to steer far away from becoming her little conversational buddy. Your time is way too valuable for that.
Or even worse, don’t be that pathetic guy who pays for all of her stuff and gives her a ride everywhere.
Sounds ridiculous eh? But, I’ve seen this happen way too many times.
The girl would sleep with a random dude within a few hours of meeting him because she finds him hot.
Meanwhile, her beta orbiter friend (who she would never sleep with, in her lifetime) would pay for her dinner, and even pick her up from the place of the guy who fornicated with her.
I beg you to not sink into that level of patheticness.
Start talking to other girls.
You have no other options, and that is why you are more than happy to be just her friends.
You just want to cling onto that little peanut of a validation you get from her, by being around her.
Would you really waste any of your time just being friends with the girl who rejected you, if you had three other attractive girls who actually want you?
The only correct answer is a resounding no.
Many men struggle to face the reality and be honest with themselves.
What man wants to admit he is only friends with the girls who rejected him because he is a pathetic loser, who does not know how to attract girls?
But, progress is rarely made until you can be brutally honest with yourself.
Do you have any other women in your life?
Do you secretly fear your life will be completely devoid of any female, once you cut ties with her?
Try digging deep into your inner fear.
And channel that fear and anger into pushing you forward to take that next step.
When you start talking to more girls, you will be surprised to see how quickly you start to forget about her.
The less you think about her, the less your brain will put her on a pedestal.
And before you realize, you will be wondering why you were so obsessed with her in the first place.
This is certainly not the advice I would normally give.
But only read this if you are planning on ignoring all my previous advice, and you decide you still want to remain as her friends.
If you still want to be friends with her after you are this far into the article, then you obviously want her badly.
In such a case, you might as well make the right moves to improve your odds, rather than being her doormat.
Once again, my first advice would always be to NOT remain as her friends.
It would be ideal if you can just let her go and find another girl.
But, if you are too stubborn (and I’m not judging since I’ve been there) to listen to what I say at this moment, then this section is for you.
Right now, your value is low in her eyes.
If you had enough value in her eyes, then she would not have rejected you.
So, you need to answer this question for yourself.
How can I increase my perceived value in her eyes, so she sees me more than just as her friends?
The answer lies in “social proof”.
Let me tell you an interesting story to illustrate the power of social proof.
It is actually a story about how I was personally influenced by the power of social proof.
If you have read some of my other articles, you may already know that lifting has been a passion of mine for the past decade.
As a result, I made a lot of friends and met a few girls (I stay away from hitting on girls at the place I frequent normally) at the gym.
There was this one Powerlifting girl at the gym I used to train, and she was quite attractive objectively speaking, but she just was not my type.
I talked to her pretty regularly at the gym, and I could see in the way she acted in front of me, that she wanted me to ask her out.
One day, my friend from the gym came over to talk to me, and he told me most guys in the gym are into her.
As soon as he told me that, I suddenly felt the desire I did not previously have to pursue her.
Five minutes later, I walked up to her, and I asked her what her plan is for the weekend.
She told me she doesn’t have any particular plan, and I told her she should hang out with me then.
She was down to hang out. So we did and the rest is history.
But, the main point I want you to take away from this story is this.
I want you to develop a clear understanding of what exactly made me desire her.
It was the fact that other men in the gym wanted her. She had “social proofs” from other men.
And when I realized she is desired by others, it instantly raised her value in my eyes subconsciously.
It is hard-wired in our brain to value the opinions of others when we are trying to decide whether something (or someone) is good or not.
And this effect is usually a lot stronger for most women.
Women, in general, put an even heavier emphasis on the opinion of their friends compared to men.
Many of them live and die for the approval of their friends.
If social proof can exert such a strong effect on men, you can only imagine how much more powerful it can be for women.
So, what are some practical advice you can implement?
1. Do not be afraid to talk about other women in front of her.
While you do not want to appear as a try-hard and only talk about your conquest of other girls, you certainly don’t need to refrain from talking about other females in front of her.
This will make her realize she is not the center of your universe.
2. Talk to other girls in front of her.
If you are hanging out with her, and there are other girls in the group, go ahead and talk to those girls.
She thinks she has all of your validation right now.
But, if you talk to other girls in front of her, it will make her feel that slight bit of void in her mind.
3. But, it would be best if you just pursue other girls, not as a way to get her back, but to completely move on from her.
When she sees you texting and calling other girls in front of her, she may realize you are not the loser that she once thought you were.
Your value will be elevated in her mind, and she may very well be the first one to want something more than just being friends with you.
Just do not let a girl friend-zone you ever again.
You can only blame yourself for being put into a friend-zone.
If you made it clear to her that you are not willing to be her little friend from the first time you met her, you never would have been put into a friend-zone in the first place.
So, what is the best way to clearly communicate this message to girls?
You first need to make sure you are not catering to her every need.
You barely even know the girl when you meet her for the first time.
You guys are not even dating.
There is absolutely no reason for you to feel like you need to do something to win her over.
This communicates to her that you are a low-value man, who has to make up for his shortcomings, by being extra catering to girls.
Always put your priority first before hers.
Do not do anything with the intention of impressing her.
And become a man who is unapologetic about his sexuality.
A lot of men feel extremely uncomfortable communicating to women that they have sexual desires.
They believe it is going to be creepy to women if they make their conversation sexual with women.
While it is possible you may come off as a creep depending on how you express your desire, you are often doing yourself more harm than good by hiding your sexual desires.
She will categorize you as “friends” in her mind when she senses you are a little boy, who is too afraid to talk about adult stuff.
So, don’t be afraid to tease her.
Don’t be afraid to let her know what you find sexy about her.
When dirty thoughts pop into your head, go ahead and make those dirty jokes (in a way she can relate).
It is going to feel unnatural at first if you are not used to expressing yourself sexually.
You are going to weird a couple of girls out.
But, you will eventually get comfortable with expressing your sexuality over time.
And you will be able to kiss goodbye to being friend-zoned by women at that point.
Anyway, I hope you finally eradicate the curse of ending up as just her friends with the tips you have learned in this article.
I was Introduced to the world of seduction after being a virgin for the first 26 years of life and being dumped by my first girlfriend at the age of 28. The dating world wasn't so kind to a 28-year-old Asian man who barely had any experience with girls. But, I eventually cracked the "code" and began "attracting" two to three new girls a week on average when I was actively going out. I'm not mentioning that to impress you but to impress upon you that you can take your dating life to the next level... IF you are equipped with the right knowledge and a desire to take massive action.
Please log in again. The login page will open in a new tab. After logging in you can close it and return to this page.