So the topic for today is…
Do I like her or…
Do I like the “idea” of her?
And what do I mean by this?
I want you to dig deep down into “why” you think you like that girl you’ve been crushing on.
Are you sure it’s because there’s genuine chemistry between the two of you or is it for the wrong reason?
Using myself as an example, I believed I was into some of the girls that I dated or slept with because I genuinely liked them.
But the reality is, I only liked the image they represented if you know what I mean…
“Oh… she has big tits, I guess that’s attractive and I like her”
“Oh… she has a nice ass, I’m supposed to like that too right?”
Don’t get me wrong, all those attributes are nice and all. I certainly won’t complain about a girl with nice tits and ass, but that alone cannot justify why you get into a relationship with her.
Even worse, I would get into a relationship with a girl just because I knew other guys found her attractive.
As bad as it may sound, knowing that others desire her, I have found is actually not an uncommon reason that makes a guy desire a girl. This trigger is actually even stronger for a girl.
This psychological trigger is probably even stronger for you if you haven’t exactly been a womanizer growing up.
It’s the same with businessmen who started with nothing and had no one trust in his grand vision.
Or a celebrity who finally broke through after a decade of no one believing he could make it.
When you have been deprived of something for a long period of your life, it can serve as great fuel for you to keep pushing forward.
But that desire to prove others wrong often comes with its side effects.
You may get so caught up with your desire to prove your worth that you end up losing sight of what actually makes you happy and what actually gives you fulfillment.
You really want to ask yourself if that little dopamine hit you get from validation by others is worth suffering hours every week to endure her toxic personality.
The logical answer will be a clear no in most cases.
I stayed in my first relationship for two years for this exact reason and also because I feared that I can’t do any better than her.
I was frequently validated by my friends about how I did a good job scoring a hot chick. To make it even worse, my friends would joke about how they thought I would never get a girlfriend back in my not so glorious days with women. This subconsciously cemented my belief that she’s more than I deserve and I won’t be able to do any better than her if she leaves me.
While I learned a lot about what I will never tolerate from a girl in a relationship, I also wasted a lot of time that I could’ve spent with someone whom I’d have better chemistry together.
In reality, there’s no reason to be overly picky if you are just going for a one night stand or looking for a casual relationship.
But as I mentioned in my other video, you really want to be careful with who you get into a serious relationship with because she can change your life forever. I’m not exaggerating one bit when I say that.
I want to talk about one more thing.
I talked earlier about how a lot of guys get caught up with a girl’s physical looks and all they end up caring about is that physical image of a girl.
If your entire value system on how you judge a girl is based on her looks alone, how do you think it will affect you?
How you perceive others is simply a reflection of what is going on inside your own head.
When you meet another person and all you care about is whether that person is physically attractive or not, your brain will start to believe that’s what everyone else thinks too.
Your brain will start to believe everyone else on this planet earth judges each other based on physical appearance alone.
Have you ever said something like, “Let’s be honest… all girls care about is your looks”? Congratulation, you just admitted to the entire world that you spend all your time obsessing over your own looks.
There’s no reason to feel bad, however. We all fall into that trap frequently. You just need to be self-aware enough to realize it is your brain playing tricks on you.
Not only is it beneficial for your own well-being, but it’s actually a more practical mindset to adopt if you want to attract girls that are above your league in terms of physical attractiveness.
If you believe everything is about looks, how can you possibly convince yourself you truly deserve hot girls as an average guy?
If you can’t see any positive qualities in a girl that isn’t exactly physically attractive, how can you possibly expect hot girls to see any positive qualities in you if you are not the best looking guy?
You are just making it more difficult for yourself to attract hot girls by repeatedly telling your brain all you care about is a big pair of tits and a nice ass.
On a final note, I would highly urge you to come up with a list of qualities that you absolutely require in a girl.
What are some qualities she must absolutely have for you to actually be happy to be in a relationship with her?
And what are some qualities you absolutely refuse to tolerate from a girl?
Come up with a list of five for each to start off and update the list frequently.
But don’t just end it there. List those qualities in the order of priority. What is THE most important trait you need in a girl?
Ideally, you should have some qualitative characteristics on the list instead of filling up the entire list with what you find physically attractive in a girl.
When you have a crystal clear sense of what you want in a girl, it’s going to be a lot easier for you to think clearly when she has her legs wide open begging for you to enter her.
You also stop wasting so much time with girls that you don’t want in your life because you know exactly what you want. How many times have you mindlessly wandered in the grocery store not knowing what to buy because you didn’t know exactly what you want to get?
By creating the list, you communicate to yourself that you are a man with standards. What man doesn’t want to have standards for himself? It will show in your interaction with girls when you truly embody these standards.
When girls can sense you have standards, they will find you that much more attractive because no one wants something that is easily accessible to everyone else.
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