Do girls care about looks, or is it all about confidence?
People have mixed opinions about this.
Some argue it is all about looks when it comes to attracting women, and some believe it is all about confidence.
But the truth lies somewhere in the middle.
Looks without confidence will not carry you very far, but you would be naïve to believe that girls do not care about looks.
So, how much do looks really matter for attracting girls?
You will have a clear answer to this question by the time you finish reading this article.
In the latter part of this article, I talk about my short Asian friend who consistently managed to attract beautiful girls despite his physical flaws.
It will help you realize what’s possible even if you are not blessed with height or a model looking face.
1. Why looks don’t matter
We will also talk about why looks actually do matter, but let’s first talk about why physical appearance doesn’t matter as much for men as it does for women.
A man primarily looks for signs of youth, health, and vitality when he looks for a potential mate, and a lot of these signs are assessed by observing a woman’s physical appearance.
But throughout evolution, a man’s physical appearance didn’t serve as an accurate indicator to help a woman determine whether he’s going to be a good potential mate.
You may argue that we don’t live in ancient times anymore, so women’s preferences must have changed.
But you need to realize that it took hundreds and thousands of years for a human brain to evolve, and it’s going to take another thousands of years for our hardwired system to change in any significant way.
What women found attractive in men thousands of years ago still greatly overlap with what women find attractive in men in this day and age.
Our ancient woman needed to look for much more than a man’s pretty face in order to ensure that she (and her kids) will be in safe hands.
For this reason, most women also care a lot about a man’s personality traits.
A man’s personality traits, such as his ambition, his reliableness, his emotional stability, and his ability to command respect from others, play a much bigger role in helping a woman decide whether he is going to be a suitable mate.
This is good news if you are not born with the most beautiful looking face or a physique of Greek God.
Because if you are born as a man, there are a lot more things you can improve and change to increase your attractiveness to the opposite sex.
You can work hard to get a nice career. You can increase your status by expanding your social circle and becoming a valuable member of the community. You can improve the way you carry yourself by adopting a better posture, and learning how to communicate better.
These are all things you can actually change that will make you more attractive to girls.
On the other hand, life becomes a lot more difficult if you are born as an unattractive female (although, there’s a good chance you’ll live your life on easy-mode if you are born as an attractive female) since there’s not much you can do to increase your attractiveness apart from plastic surgeries.
So, count yourself blessed if you are born as a male.
2. Why looks actually do matter
So far, we’ve talked about why looks are not that important for men, but girls obviously do care about a man’s physical appearance as well.
So, what do girls care about when it comes to a man’s physical appearance, and why do they care about it in the first place?
Let’s first talk about what women find attractive in a man’s body.
Studies show that women are attracted to a V-shaped torso in men.
A V-shaped torso shows that the man has a well-developed upper body along with a lower body fat percentage, and this apparently signals to a woman that the man is going to be a better protector for her and her children.
And it would be redundant to say that a woman cares about a man’s height.
Women, across all cultures, show a universal preference for a man who is taller than them.
Does this mean there’s no hope if you are a short man? Nope, and you will soon find out why.
How about your facial attractiveness? Do women care about your face at all?
Studies show that women are attracted to facial features that indicate a high level of testosterone, such as a defined jawline and deep brow ridges.
Testosterone is what makes a man a man.
So, any features that indicate a high level of testosterone are going to make most women feel a stronger desire toward you.
And both men and women universally find symmetrical faces to be more attractive.
3. How the environment affects a girl’s preference
Let’s say one girl grows up in Asia while the other grows up in the US.
Those two girls are likely going to have very different preferences for what they find physically attractive in men.
This is quite evident when you observe some of the more popular male celebrities in different cultures.
For example, if you look at some of the male celebrities that are popular in Asian culture, they tend to lean more towards the pretty boy type.
On the other hand, North American culture tends to prefer a man that’s more strong and masculine.
These differences can also arise at the micro-level.
If a girl grew up around men who are big and masculine, then she may very well develop a preference for a man who exhibits more masculine features.
On the other hand, if she grew up around men who are smart and intellectual, then she may be more attracted to an intelligent man.
So, what do I want you to take away from all of this?
There are certain physical features that are universally attractive to most women, but there are simply way too many individual differences for you to even bother worrying about what women do or don’t find physically attractive in men.
Story of my short Asian friend
I want to end this article by briefly talking about my short Asian friend who was an absolute womanizer.
And I’ll tell you exactly what type of approaches he used to consistently attract hot girls.
I want him to serve as a motivation for those who struggle with the belief that they can’t attract beautiful girls due to their physical flaws.
But let me first talk about my tall and good looking friend, and how his approach differed from my short Asian friend.
I believe this will help you understand what type of style may work best for you depending on the cards you’re dealt with.
My good looking friend talked to girls in a very direct way.
He clearly showed girls he’s interested in them right off the bat, and this worked great with girls who are below his league.
They were often flattered that a good looking man would confidently walk up to them and express his intention.
But, there was one problem.
This direct style would often lose its power when he talked to girls who were above his league since he was giving away his power right from the get-go.
Attractive girls are validated by men on a day-to-day basis.
A lot of men approach attractive girls to let them know how beautiful they are, and how they would love to take them out for dinner.
When you approach a very attractive girl, and you are direct with your intention, you are essentially putting yourself into a “fanboy” category. And this will instantly make her perceive you as a low-value male.
My short Asian friend had a little bit of a different approach than my tall, good-looking friend.
He had a confident, yet relaxed style of interacting with girls.
When he was talking to beautiful girls, it didn’t seem like he was so eager to talk to them, although he was still engaged in a conversation.
Interestingly enough, this actually made him stand out more to beautiful girls.
It was likely because it’s rare for attractive girls to come across a short Asian man who’s able to carry himself with utter confidence while talking to them. And that made him immediately stand out among other men.
Once he gave these girls a chance to get to know him better, he didn’t hesitate to express his desire for them.
But he was not in a rush to let them know he’s in love with them.
Here’s the moral of the story.
If you are not the best looking man, it’s important that you adopt a more chill style of interacting with girls and try not to rush the whole process.
You’re not going to instantly attract girls with your looks, so you need to give them a little more time before they start noticing other positive qualities about you.
If you let a girl know that you’re interested in her as soon as you meet her, you are essentially forcing her to make a decision right then and there.
And that decision is probably not going to be in your favor if you are not exactly the most handsome looking man.
You want to become a male equivalent of a girl who is not particularly physically attractive but possesses a magnetic charm that makes you want to pursue her.
How to stand out as an average men
So, what are some other ways you can stand out from the rest if you’re not good looking?
I want you to first answer some of these questions.
Do most men have an abundance of options when it comes to their dating lives?
The answer is a clear no.
Most men lack options in their dating lives unless they have a high level of social status, or they work in an environment where they are constantly meeting new girls.
And how do most men carry themselves?
Most men care so much about what women think of them, and they constantly filter what they say in front of women so they don’t accidentally offend them.
Most men have no clear sense of purpose.
Most men speak with a weak voice and walk around with a poor posture.
Many men spend more time complaining rather than doing something to better themselves.
So, if these are behaviors you notice in most men, and they are not having great success with women, what do you think is the next logical thing to do?
It’s to do exactly the opposite of what most men are doing.
When you do what most men do, then you’ll get the result that most men get.
So, I want you to start walking with confidence and a clear sense of purpose.
I want you to speak with certainty and conviction.
I want you to stop wasting your time and energy on things you can’t change, and start focusing on things you can.
Think about how many hours most people spend a day complaining about things that are out of their control.
How much more would you accomplish if you channeled that energy into solely focusing on things that you can improve?
There are so many things you can do to become a better version of yourself.
You can join a toastmaster club to improve your public speaking ability.
You can sign up for an improv class to learn how to speak more freely.
You can sign up for a gym membership to improve your physique.
As we have said earlier, you are blessed to be born as a man because you are not judged based on your looks alone.
You can sit there and complain about how you don’t have a perfectly symmetrical face, or you can work your behind off to become the man who commands respect with the achievements that required blood, sweat, and tears.
The choice is yours.