Suffering from extreme shyness?
You are not alone.
My social anxiety prevented me from forming any sort of intimate relationship with the opposite sex for the longest time.
And I lived my life as a virgin for the first twenty-six years of my life.
I know that feeling of seeing an attractive girl walking toward you on the street and your entire muscles become stiff and you can’t calm your breathing.
I know what it feels like when you are talking to girls and your brain turns completely white and you can’t think of anything to say.
And I also know what it takes to overcome that crippling shyness and finally interact with girls the way you always wanted to interact with them.
That is exactly what I want to cover in this article.
How you can take that first step as a shy guy to achieve the freedom in your dating life.
Because there is no glory in being alone and not having the ability to bond with girls.
You can try to convince yourself all you want that you are fine being alone, but at the end of the day, your life will feel incomplete if you have no one to share your highs and lows.
So I hope this article can serve as a starting point for you to transform your personality and ultimately your entire life.
I emphasized this point numerous times in my past articles and it never hurts to re-emphasize.
You really need to develop that basic social skill.
It is logical to think that for you to be good with girls, you should talk to more girls.
While that sounds great on paper, it doesn’t always work for shy guys who struggle to maintain even a basic conversation with people in general.
For one, if you are a shy dude, you are initially going to weird a lot of girls out which means you are frequently going to have a chain of short interactions.
But by forcing yourself to conversate with other hairy dudes (that you have no interest in fornicating with…), you are really going to cultivate that ability to enjoy conversation for the sake of having a conversation.
This is an invaluable skill that will definitely carry over to your interaction with girls.
You also need to realize that girls will see you interact with other people as you spend more and more time with her.
If she sees you acting like a complete loser with others, then whatever interest she may have had for you will just evaporate into thin air.
So building your basic social skill should be your priority if you are actually hoping to make a meaningful change to your personality.
I understand how tough it can be to say something that may potentially offend others.
I still remember how I used to overanalyze everything that was about to come out of my mouth to make sure I won’t say anything that could come off as even slightly offensive to others.
But you need to accept this one thing.
No matter how careful you are with your words and action, there will always people who will hate your gut for whatever reason.
No matter how hard you try to please others, there will always be someone who just doesn’t like you for whatever reason.
So let me ask you this…
Would you rather be hated for being yourself or would you rather be hated for putting on a fake persona that you hoped the other would like you for?
I think the answer is pretty clear…
So I urge you to practice speaking your mind.
When you don’t want to do something, let the other person clearly know you don’t want to do it.
When you disagree with something, let the other person know you don’t agree with what he or she said.
But be aware this is more of a “training wheel” to eradicate that boring and agreeable personality out of you.
Realize that once you are okay with disagreeing with others, you ultimately want to reach more of a balanced state where you can assert yourself while still maintaining harmony with others.
Start with girls in your school, work, gym, etc.
Now.. be very aware, I am NOT telling you to hit on them.
But rather, get used to just being normal and comfortable with girls in your social setting first.
It goes back to the point we discussed earlier.
Girls will be ruthless toward you when they don’t know you.
And it will take a long time for you to have enough quality long interaction with girls if you are trying to build your conversational muscle by just talking to random girls.
But girls who know you from your social circle will be a lot more willing to have small chit chats with you despite your slight awkwardness.
And this will really help you to boost your confidence and ability to carry a conversation with girls.
If there is one point I want you to take away from this article, it is this.
Be absolutely terrified of the consequence if you don’t change your personality.
I was twenty-eight years old when I broke up with my first girlfriend after a two-year-long toxic relationship.
I just imagined what my future would look like if I lived the rest of my life the way I had lived the past twenty-eight years of my life.
I knew I would merely be existing but not living if I continue to fail to connect with others and fail to put my authentic self out there.
I just pictured how I would be at the age of eighty years old, reflecting back on my life and thinking to myself, “What the fugg was I so afraid of…?”
All the amazing experiences I could have had… all the special bonds I could have formed with others…
I would’ve thrown them all away only because of that little voice in my head that kept discouraging me from putting myself out there.
I decided enough is enough and I’m going to take charge of who I become once and for all.
And that is exactly what I did.
I pushed myself so far out of my comfort zone that I was on the verge of giving everything up on multiple occasions.
But I knew putting myself in that constant discomfort was the only way I was going to have massive growth.
I kept pushing forward and I ended up amassing incredible friendship and experiences along the way which I’ll forever embrace for the rest of my life.
It is your turn to do the same.
I was Introduced to the world of seduction after being a virgin for the first 26 years of life and being dumped by my first girlfriend at the age of 28. The dating world wasn't so kind to a 28-year-old Asian man who barely had any experience with girls. But, I eventually cracked the "code" and began "attracting" two to three new girls a week on average when I was actively going out. I'm not mentioning that to impress you but to impress upon you that you can take your dating life to the next level... IF you are equipped with the right knowledge and a desire to take massive action.
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