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My Girlfriend Cheated On Me

There are a few things in life that can tear a man’s heart apart as badly as his woman cheating on him.

When a girl cheats on you, your confidence as a man will completely plummet, and you will be left with a deep wound that will make it difficult for you to trust any girl in the future.

This article will help you discover the best ways to confront your girlfriend about her cheating, and what exactly you should do with your cheating girlfriend.

So, let’s get started.

1. Identify her tendencies

What do I mean by her “tendencies”?

How did she normally act when you guys had an argument throughout your relationship?

Is your girlfriend the type to always blame your fault while refusing to ever look at her wrongdoings?

Does she always play the victim card instead of trying to take responsibility for her own action?

If that has been a consistent theme for the duration you have known her, then it is going to be difficult for you to have a proper conversation with her when you bring up her cheating.

Most women (and men as well) are great at rationalizing their misconducts.

Many people will readily come up with the reasons why they had to do certain things even (or especially) if they have done the worst possible things.

When I was in a relationship with one of my girlfriends in the past, she would always point fingers at me whenever I brought something up that was bothering me.

Even when I tried to have a calm, civil discussion about how we should improve our relationship, she would instantly take it personally, and engage in personal attacks about how I don’t do this or that in a relationship.

If your girlfriend is anything like that, then the chances of you being able to have a proper discussion with her are slim to none.

Cheating is quite possibly one of the worst things that a woman can do to a man she is with.

If she refuses to take any sort of responsibility for what she has done, then it is only going to exacerbate your pain.

And that is why I urge you to really ponder on what your girlfriend’s personality is like before you even bother engaging in a conversation with her.

Otherwise, there is a good chance you would just be wasting your valuable energy and time.

2. Identify your own tendencies

The second thing you want to consider before bringing up her infidelity is how “you” normally respond to your girlfriend when you guys discuss the problems in your relationship.

Do you normally get extremely emotionally aroused and lose your cool when you are talking about things that hurt you?

Do you let your girlfriend walk all over you whenever you guys have a talk?

It is important you are honest with yourself.

Don’t “assume” you are going to act a certain way. Simply look at how you behaved under a stressful circumstance in the past.

That is probably how you are going to respond when talking to your girlfriend about cheating.

People can change, but people rarely change in a short period of time.

Just because you “think” you will be able to keep your cool when confronting her about her infidelity does not mean you will be able to keep calm in the heat of the moment.

For you to be able to accurately assess your own tendencies, it is vitally important for you to have enough self-awareness.

And the first step really is, to be honest with yourself.

If you know you are just going to yell and be aggressive as soon as you bring up the topic of her cheating, you are probably better off communicating to her without talking to her face-to-face.

As Sun Tzu says, “If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles.”

If you are honest when assessing how you normally react in this type of situation, and you can also predict how your girlfriend is going to respond, then you are going to be able to come up with the most ideal way to deal with the situation at hand.

3. Decide how you are going to end things

Assuming you have completed the previous two steps before confronting your girlfriend about her cheating, you are in a better position to come up with the best way to deal with this traumatic experience.

So, what should you do?

If your girlfriend tends to play victim game…

You have two options in such a case.

If you decide to talk to her about her infidelity, then here is what you want to do.

You want to be upfront about your intention of bringing up her cheating before you talk about anything else.

In other words, you want to set the frame of the interaction from the get-go, so it doesn’t become a crapshoot.

You do not want to be wasting your time bickering about pointless things.

You are already stressed out enough from her being unfaithful to you. Don’t make it any harder on yourself.

So, what should you tell her?

Let her know that you have no interest in blaming her for what she has done.

Tell her that whatever happened already happened, so there is no point in wasting any energy by pointing fingers at each other.

Afterward, you want to simply communicate to her what you want to do moving forward.

But, I am always the first one to advocate finding things out for yourself and learning from your mistakes.

So, if you decide to give it a second shot, I am not going to be the one to tell you that you shouldn’t.

But, here is what I want you to consider before you make up your mind.

Do you think you can ever trust her again from this point onward?

Think about all of the different scenarios, such as when she is out at the club with her friends, when she is hanging out with her male co-worker, or when she is on a vacation with her friends, and pretty much any time she is not with you.

Do you think you will be able to trust her and remain at peace, or is your mind going to be filled with remorse and negative thoughts about how she is going to cheat on you again?

If you believe the answer is close to the latter, then you may want to seriously reconsider giving it a second chance.

If your relationship constantly makes you feel negative emotion, rather than filling you up with positive thoughts, then it is destined to fail.

If your girlfriend is level-headed (but, she probably wouldn’t have cheated on you if she were…) enough to have a proper conversation with you…

Then, I suggest you calmly bring it up to her (assuming you are going to be able to control your emotion).

Once again, it is up to you to decide what you want to do.

If you believe you want to give it a second shot for you to not leave any regret, then, by all means, go forth with it.

If I had to guess, things are probably not going to work out, but you will have at least learned from your experience.

Anyway, if you decide to give it a second shot, simply let her know what you want to do.

There is no reason for you to bring up her infidelity for the sake of making her feel bad if you decide to try to work things out.

It really is not going to change anything, and you may as well break things off with her now if you are going to do that.

You just want to communicate to her that you are willing to give it a second shot under the condition she is not going to unfaithful again (although, it will be near impossible for you to ever trust her again which is why I recommend you to break things off).

If you have a tendency to get very emotional and aggressive during an argument…

Then, I recommend you to communicate to her through written words (text message or e-mail), rather than in person.

If you have a tendency to get emotional (or even aggressive) every time you have a talk with her, there is not much point in trying to talk in person.

Whatever it is that you want to communicate to her, whether it is breaking up, or telling her to pick her stuff up from your place, it is better if you do it in the absence of her presence.

4. Reflect back on what you could have done better

I know this part may not exactly be what you want to hear.

And, by no means, am I saying what your girlfriend has done (cheating) can be justified under any circumstance.

No matter what sort of mistakes you made in a relationship, you can never justify cheating in a relationship.

If she was that unhappy in a relationship, she should have broken up with you instead of dragging out a relationship while being unfaithful behind your back.

So, I want to be very clear that what she has done to you is inexcusable.

With that being said, as a responsible man who tries to extract lessons from every hardship you face, you can also use this as an opportunity to improve yourself.

I need to warn you, however, that you never want to look back at your memories through the lens of self-condemnation.

You want to reflect back on your past as if you are a scientist analyzing the data. You want to completely detach your emotion during this process.

You should never use this process as an excuse to “dwell” over your past.

The sole purpose of doing this is for you to identify the pattern of mistakes you have repeated in the past, so you don’t make the same mistakes in your future relationships.

So, let’s talk about some of the key factors you want to consider when you reflect back on your past.

Did you neglect your girlfriend when she needed you?

When she reached out to you or when she wanted to see you, were you not there for her?

Were you constantly busy when she needed your emotional support?

How about when you were spending time with her? Did you spend more time looking at your phone rather than giving her full attention?

If she felt like you were not really there for her, then it makes sense she felt the urge to seek validation elsewhere.

This is the mistake I often made in some of my earlier relationships.

When that initial spark died away, I no longer felt the urge to give my girlfriend all of my attention.

I was there but not there, and she felt it.

Did you neglect her physically?

Did you stop touching her in an affectionate way?

Did you stop kissing her passionately?

Maybe, you can barely remember the last time you made love to her?

If any of these applies to you, then it would have caused her to slowly shut off her mind.

Women want to be desired by the man that they love.

If she senses you lost your passion toward her, she is going to seek another man who is going to make her feel desired.

If you are anything like me, you probably had lost some of your physical attraction toward your girlfriend after a few months of dating.

It is important for you to keep that flame alive, or she is going to turn her back away from you when she realizes you do not desire her as strongly as you used to.

Did you drag out the relationship although you knew it’s over?

Be honest with yourself.

Did you only stay in a relationship with her because you felt like you couldn’t do any better?

Or maybe the thought of having to chase another girl felt like too much effort, so you decided to settle for her, and you rationalized staying with her by convincing yourself that she is a gem.

That is exactly what I did in my first relationship.

I dated a girl who was very “objectively” attractive although she wasn’t exactly my type.

And since it was my first relationship, my mind was filled with insecurity and neediness.

So, I kept clinging onto the relationship out of desperation and neediness, although I understood deep down that it was destined to fail.

Did you ignore all of her red flags?

When I was in a toxic relationship with one of my ex-girlfriends, I ignored all of her red flags at the start.

She would contact her ex-boyfriends every time we would get into an argument, but I didn’t assert my boundaries firmly.

She would blatantly flirt with other men in front of me, and I would try to tell myself that I shouldn’t be a jealous boyfriend.

She would get insanely jealous and always accuse me of checking out other women, and I did not stand up for myself.

All of the clues were there from the start.

I just decided to ignore them because I was afraid that she would leave me, and I was afraid I would not be able to find a better option.

While there is a lesson to be learned from any and every relationship, a toxic relationship will do more damage than it is worth, so it is best to spot those red flags early on and run far from a girl who is not worth your time.

5. Move on from her

If you decided to move on from your cheating girlfriend, then I applaud you for it.

In my opinion, this is the only correct way to deal with the situation.

It is only going to kill your self-esteem when you try to hold onto someone who does not respect you (which she clearly demonstrated by cheating on you).

And it is unlikely you are ever going to be able to trust her.

Once trust is broken, it can never be restored.

You are always going to be wondering if she is with another guy when you are not with her.

You are always going to be worried if she is going to cheat on you when she is out at the club with her friends.

So, it is better if you start everything afresh with another person.

Let’s talk about the best ways to move on from your cheating girlfriend now that you have made up your mind.

Write down all of the negative things in your relationship…

Obviously, cheating is the only reason you need to break things off with her.

But, if you still have that slight bit of desire to hold onto her, I suggest you write down all of the undesirable qualities she possesses.

Right now, you may want her because some part of your brain is trying to convince you that she is still a good girl apart from this one incident.

You need to realize it is your brain playing tricks on you.

Your brain is biased in that it often seeks comfort, rather than looking out for your best interest.

She is a comfortable option for you. She is familiar to you. So, your brain tries to convince you to just settle for her.

But, you realize deep down that is not going to make you happier in the long run which is why you decided to move on from her.

You’ve got to actively fight against that little voice in your head by adopting a more balanced view toward her.

So, go ahead and think about all of the negative qualities she has that you never liked in the first place, and write them down.

And look back on it every time you feel that urge to contact her. I assure you it is going to help.

Out of sight, out of mind…

When you don’t see her, she is going to exit your mind faster.

Eliminate any and every trigger from your environment that reminds her of you.

It can be her gifts or it can be her shirts that she left at your place.

It also means blocking her from everything, so there are no possible ways for you guys to contact each other.

If you can afford it, it can be a great idea to travel to a new place you have never visited.

When you completely change your environment, you will naturally become free of any possible trigger that can remind you of her.

Whenever you feel the urge to contact her, don’t forget that your cheating girlfriend does not deserve an ounce of your attention.

Go talk to other girls…

More often than not, the best way to get over someone is to find another person.

When you are busy talking and making love to other girls, you won’t have much room in your brain to constantly dwell over your girlfriend.

You may not feel like going out and hitting on other girls, but force yourself to do it anyway.

That is exactly what I did during my break-up, and I’ve personally found it helped me more than anything else to get over my girlfriend.

I’m not saying you should jump into another relationship, but it is good to get used to talking to girls again as soon as you possibly can.

It will help you increase your confidence and speed up the recovery process.

Anyway, I wish you nothing but the best of luck in the future, and I want you to realize that you will find a girl who is better than her.

My Ex Girlfriend Doesn’t Reply To My Text

You send a text message to your ex-girlfriend, hoping she would finally reply to your message.

An hour passes by, a day passes by, and even a week passes by, and there is still no reply from her.

This time, you decide to write a long heartfelt message to confess just how much you really care for her, but still nothing in return.

If any of this sounds familiar to you, then trust me, I have been there.

In this article, you will learn the precise reasons why she is ignoring your text, and what exactly you can (or should) do when she is not replying to your text.

Are you ready to face the truth?

Then, let’s get started.

1. She has nothing to say

Think about times when you did not respond to someone’s text messages.

When do you usually “forget” to reply to someone?

Isn’t it usually when you don’t really have much to say to what they wrote?

There can be a few reasons why your ex-girlfriend may feel this way.

The first obvious reason is that she has no feelings left for you.

In such a case, it would only make sense for her to feel like it is a hassle to respond to your text messages.

But, another possibility is that you are sending her such a pointless text that it is difficult for her to reply.

For example, if you text a girl that the weather is nice today, it is unlikely she feels a strong desire to reply unless she likes you a lot.

How about when you text a girl that you really miss her like the example below.

“Hey, baby. I have been thinking about you for the past few days, and the more I think, the more I realize I can’t live without you. I just love you so much”

How do you think a girl would react when she sees that text message?

Do you think the above text message will make her think you are an amazing guy who deserves a second chance, and she will hurriedly reply to your text?

Nope, most likely not.

There is a reason why you guys broke up.

Your ex-girlfriend doesn’t see enough value in you to stay with you for the time being

How do you think she will feel when a man she perceives as a low value clings onto her?

Let me give you an example to better illustrate this point.

Let’s say you are walking down the street, and a homeless guy asks you for money, and you reject his request.

Are you going to be more inspired to give him money if he becomes extremely desperate and needy by following you all the way back to your place?

No, you are most likely going to tell him to get lost or call the police.

You are essentially doing the same thing when you try to hold onto your ex-girlfriend who wanted to break up with you.

If you ever want to have any shot at getting her back (although I generally recommend men to move on from their ex), you need to increase your value in her eyes.

But anyway, let’s get back to talking about what you should avoid texting to prevent a lack of reply from your ex-girlfriend.

A good rule of thumb is to avoid texting anything that doesn’t arouse some sort of emotion in her.

When you send her a boring, pointless text, such as talking about the weather, or how you had a great workout session at the gym, you are pretty much encouraging her to ignore your text.

Instead, you want to keep the following two points in your mind when you text your ex-girlfriend.

First, people are inherently self-interested.

When you write a text message that is relevant to her, you will have much better luck (We will go into more detail on this in the latter part of this article).

Second, you want to make her curious to find out more about what it is that you want to say. Don’t reveal everything you want to say over text. Induce her curiosity by leaving some information out, so she feels a stronger desire to meet you.

2. Your text is just her entertainment

It is also possible she just sees your text as a part of her daily entertainment.

In fact, she may be sharing your heartfelt text message with the rest of her friends, or on the bed of another man.

Women can be incredibly cruel once they do not have any feelings left for you.

When she has moved on from you, you are no longer relevant to her, and she won’t hesitate to chew you up and spit you out.

This degree of disrespect from the person you loved can really hurt and traumatize you.

So, how can you ensure that you don’t become the “loser ex-boyfriend”?

The first step is to avoid sending your ex-girlfriend a lame text message.

So, let’s talk about what falls into the category of “lame texts”.

  • Text messages that talk about mundane, boring stuff as we have previously mentioned. These don’t serve any purpose, and it will just look like your crappy attempt at re-initiating contact with her.
  • Texts that make you seem desperate and needy. Stay away from “genuinely” communicating your feeling over texts. Your ex-girlfriend doesn’t give two bollocks about your feeling. It will just make you appear emotionally unstable in her eyes, and you are only going to further repel her.
  • Texts that are lo in length. Your ex-girlfriend doesn’t have the patience to read long texts from you. You are already emotionally irrelevant in her mind. She is not interested in seeing any more sob message from you. Just a mere fact you took the time out of your day to write a long message communicates to her that you are needy and desperate.

Before you press that send button on your phone, you need to really think about how she would feel every time she goes back to reading your text messages.

If you send her a pathetic text message, then every time she looks at your text, it is going to further reinforce her belief that it was a good decision to drop you.

This is actually one of the reasons why I recommend you to minimize communication over texts, if possible.

Most men are terrible at texting, and their texts will forever serve as a track record for the girl to remind herself to never see them again.

It is always better if you can get her on the phone or talk to her in person.

3. She is scared of you

Be honest with yourself. Did you act a little crazy while you were in a relationship with your ex-girlfriend?

If you have a tendency to lose your cool even when something disturbs you slightly, then that can very well be the reason why she avoids your text messages.

If a girl is attractive enough, she’s likely suffered from having been with more than a handful of men who were the crazy stalker type.

If you ever did or say something that makes her question your mental stability while you guys were in a relationship, there is a good chance she is avoiding you out of fear.

Most women are very easily terrified, and rightfully so. They are physically weaker than men, so they want to make sure that the men they are with are not physically aggressive.

Let’s say you are driving on a highway and some car cuts you off, and you nearly bump into the car.

When this happens, most men will get furious, and they will probably either curse, yell, or honk at the car.

The dominant emotion that a man experiences in such circumstance is anger and rage.

Let’s contrast that with what a woman normally experiences under the same circumstance.

Most women become fearful under the same scenario, and the dominant emotion that they experience is fear.

If you have a history of being emotionally unstable in the presence of your ex-girlfriend, it only makes sense for her to want to avoid you.

Emotional stability is one of the core traits that women look for in men especially when it comes to a relationship.

Why is that?

It goes back to caveman times when women had to rely on men to provide them with resources.

Men who were emotionally stable were able to provide women with consistent, predictable resources whereas men who suffered from emotional instability failed to do so.

It would have been a costly mistake for our ancestral woman and her children to stay with a man who lacked emotional resilience to endure the tough times.

While we no longer live in a caveman time, and a woman rarely has to rely on men to provide her with resources in this day and age, our brain is still wired the same way.

It took millions of years for our brains to evolve, and it is going to take another millions of years for them to change in any substantial way.

4. She lost her phone

This sounds rather stupid, but it happens more often than you would think.

I remember the first time I got a girl’s phone number, and she wanted to meet me, but I lost my phone, and I was never able to contact her again.

She probably assumed I ghosted her, but I simply had no way of contacting her because my phone was nowhere to be found.

Sometimes, the reason why your ex-girlfriend is not replying to your text message may have nothing to do with you.

She could have lost her phone, her phone plan could have expired, or she could be traveling to another country.

There can be a whole host of reasons why your ex-girlfriend is not replying, and that is exactly why it is better for you to stop obsessing over getting a response from your ex-girlfriend.

Because when you do, your brain will often come up with the worst possible explanation as to why she is ignoring you.

5. You are not her priority

She has moved on from you, and she is focused on living her life.

She no longer has any special feelings left for you.

In such a case, it only makes sense for her to not feel a strong urge to respond back to your message.

Just like her, you want to stop prioritizing your ex-girlfriend over other more important things in your life.

You need to realize that a girl does not want you to prioritize her.

She may say she does, but as soon as you put her on a pedestal, she is going to lose interest.

It is in our nature to want things that we can’t readily access.

If you are always so easily accessible to her, you will inevitably lose value in her eyes.

Women are evolutionarily wired to respond to a man who is high in status.

When you are there for her every time she needs you, it communicates to her that you are a low-value male.

So, stop putting her on a pedestal!

6. Her new man tells her to ignore you

I have made my ex-girlfriends do this to her ex-boyfriends the past (Yes… I admit I was a bit of a jealous control freak back in the days).

There were many times when my ex-girlfriend would be contacted by one of the guys she used to see, and I would tell her to cut him off.

In my first relationship, I remember my ex-girlfriend receiving a call from her ex-boyfriend, and I told her to tell her ex-boyfriend that she’s found a new man, so he should stop bothering her (and I made her say that while she was still on the phone with him which I am not too proud of…).

Not to mention many times when a girl I am seeing would get messages from one of her followers on her social media accounts, and we would both laugh at their pathetic attempts at asking her out.

I am sure the last thing you want your ex-girlfriend to do is to share your messages with her new man and use them as a source of their entertainment.

This is why I recommend men to go no-contact on their ex-girlfriends (and you should especially avoid sending text messages).

If you really feel that desire to contact her, make a call.

Your call logs will be pushed down in her phone after a few days, but your messages will forever serve as proof for her to avoid you.

I want you to start filling up your phone contacts with other girl’s phone numbers.

When you are texting 4~5 girls at the same time, you will soon forget why you ever obsessed over your ex-girlfriend.

Desperation is caused by a lack of options.

Use this breakup as a motivation to never ever let yourself run out of options in your dating life.

7. She is doing no contact

Yes, girls also search for dating advice on the internet.

Your ex-girlfriend may have come across an article that encouraged her to not contact her ex-boyfriend, and there is a chance she is using the same exact tactics that you are using on her.

Under such circumstance, it is a simple matter of who caves in first.

This is one of the reasons why I encourage men to focus on their life instead of trying to use a tactic to get their ex-girlfriend back.

When you are focused on living your life, you are naturally not going to contact her, as a by-product.

You will most likely not care much about whether your ex-girlfriend replies to you or not because you are busy with your life.

On the other hand, what happens when you are using no contact as a “tactic”?

You are most likely going to check your phone every few minutes to see if your ex-girlfriend has initiated contact with you.

Your productivity will go out the window, and your attention is solely focused on getting a reply back from your ex-girlfriend.

In such a case, you may be able to exercise no contact for a few days, but your willpower will soon expire, and you will no longer be able to resist your temptation to contact your ex-girlfriend.

So, it is in your best interest to exercise no contact as a way to move on from her, rather than as a way to get her back.

When you do this, you will often end up re-igniting your ex-girlfriend’s attraction toward you.

But guess what?

You likely won’t even want her back at that point.

8. She blocked you

If she blocked you from her phone, she obviously will not be able to see your messages.

As a general rule of thumb, you do not want to be texting her more than two times in a row if she is not replying back to your text.

If she doesn’t respond to you after your first or second text, just assume she has either moved on or blocked you.

Please do not throw away your self-respect for the chance of getting back with your ex-girlfriend.

Even if you somehow convince her to come back, it is not going to last.

In fact, I urge you to go ahead and block her from every possible way she can contact you, including your phone, your email, and your social media accounts.

You need to control your environment, first and foremost, when you are trying to get over your ex-girlfriend.

You wouldn’t try to lose weight while you have a ton of fast food laying around in your house, would you?

It is a foolish attempt to try to “will power” your way out of not contacting your ex-girlfriend when you are constantly reminded of her, from her pictures on her social media accounts, and all of the messages she sent you when you guys were together.

Eliminate any possible triggers that will remind you of her, so she doesn’t constantly circulate in your mind.

9. She is living her life

How pathetic is it for you to be obsessing over your ex-girlfriend when she has moved on, and she is focused on living her life?

Imagine your ex-girlfriend going out and having fun with her friends.

Imagine her going on multiple dates, and going back home with different men every week.

Meanwhile, you are in your room alone beating off to her old picture.

You probably don’t want that, do you?

So, what should you do to start living your life?

Right now, you are addicted to your thoughts of your ex-girlfriend.

So, what is the best way to cure that addiction?

Your current addiction is best replaced with a new addiction.

But, you obviously do not want to replace your toxic addiction with another toxic one.

So, your goal is to find a healthier obsession that can replace your current addiction.

These can include: lifting weights at the gym, practicing daily meditation, signing up for a yoga class, or going on a hike with your friends.

Basically, anything and everything that requires you to move your body is a good bet.

It is hard to remain depressed when you are exercising with intensity.

With that being said, let’s now shift gears a little, and delve even deeper into talking about some of the most critical mistakes that men make when they text their ex-girlfriend.

10. She does not reply because you are too available

Did you make a mistake of replying back to your ex-girlfriend’s text within seconds when she contacted you?

How about when you were in a relationship?

Did you always make sure to reply back to her message as soon as she sent you a text?

If that applies to you, your value has most likely hit rock bottom in your ex-girlfriend’s eyes.

It is true that a girl wants to be with a man who is caring and reliable, but at the same time, she also wants a man who demonstrates attractive qualities, so her child can get the best possible genetic.

When you are always available to a girl, it signals to her brain that you are a low-value male who is at the bottom of the totem pole.

If you are seeing an unattractive woman without a lot of options, she may accept her fate and remain faithful to you.

But, you are unlikely to keep an attractive girl if you don’t strike the right balance between values and reliability.

The short-term solution is to not be so eager to reply back to her text message.

Take at least an hour or two (or even a few hours) before you reply to her.

That will at least give off the impression that you are doing something with your life other than sitting by your phone and waiting for her reply.

But, this is just a “tactic” that will temporarily help your values from dipping further down, but it won’t necessarily help you in the long run.

So, what then is a better long-term strategy to stop obsessing over her texts?

And it is not that complicated.

You find a greater purpose in your life than the woman you are obsessing over.

Why do you think women fawn over rock stars when these rock stars don’t even know about their existence?

It is in a woman’s nature to be attracted to a man who is completely immersed in what he is doing and follows his passion.

11. You share your feelings over text

How many times have you heard a girl say she wants a man who expresses his feelings?

But, here is the truth.

Girls obviously want to know what you are thinking and feeling because it is in their nature to be curious about what is going on in their men’s head.

So, a girl will happily encourage her man to say everything that is on his mind.

But, does that necessarily mean she is going to feel a stronger attraction toward you when you send a long text that expresses your feelings toward her?

The reality is, most girls do not want to hear your sob stories (at least, not too frequently).

Girls do not want to hear about how you were so emotionally distraught by whatever she did or say.

In fact, girls generally want a man who is emotionally stable enough to not experience such an extreme mood swing.

An emotionally unstable man is not a suitable mate because a woman cannot rely on him to remain calm and grounded during tough times.

You do not want to lose your cool at any point when you are talking to a girl.

And for the same reason, you do not want to make a mistake of expressing your emotion too often (You want to be a man who makes a girl experience strong emotions, rather than being the man who is controlled by his emotions).

Your ex-girlfriend (or current girlfriend) will soon get tired of it.

You need to realize that what girls say they want, and what they actually want, can often be completely different.

A girl may say she wants a nice guy, but she will go out on a date with a not-so-nice guy.

She may say she wants a gentleman who treats her well, but she may date a guy who is completely disrespectful toward her.

You always want to look at a girl’s behavior over the words she says.

So, do not ever write a long-winded text message that confesses your genuine love.

I made a mistake of bombarding my ex-girlfriend with paragraphs of heartfelt messages during my first break-up, and every time I would do that, all I would get in return is her telling me that she does not feel the same way about me anymore.

I have also talked to hundreds of girls about their past relationships, and I can’t recall a single case where the girl told me, she decided to go back to her ex-boyfriend because she was moved by his genuine, wordy text messages.

One story that particularly stands out in my mind is of a girl whom I dated for some time.

She told me about her ex-boyfriend who she loved more than anyone else in all of her past relationships.

He ended up moving to another country, and they tried to make it work by getting into a long-distance relationship.

As time passed on, it was clear that things weren’t going to work out, and she eventually tried to break it off with him.

But, when she wanted to end things, he started going crazy and tried to convince her to give him a second chance by texting her tens of times in a row.

When she ignored him, he went as far as threatening to commit suicide, and by that point, she did not want anything to do with him.

Desperation and neediness are the two worst traits you can demonstrate if you want to kill the girl’s attraction completely.

How I got a girl to reply to my text 

As a final note, let me share a story of how I got a girl to meet me through text message when all odds were stacked against me.

The lessons in the story will help you to identify what principles are actually important when you are trying to get your ex-girlfriend (or any girl for that matter) to meet you through text message.

This was back when I was going out in Melbourne, Australia.

One of my friends (Let’s call him Sean) was visiting Melbourne from Sydney for a few days.  While he was in Melbourne, he approached this one girl (Let’s call her Sara) in front of the library, and he ended up going on a date with her.

They hung out for a couple of days, but he had to leave to Sydney, so he decided to pass her phone number to me and my other friend (Let’s call him John).

So, John and I decided to take a shot at Sara, but since John had already met Sara, he decided to go first (Sean was staying over at his place when he was visiting so he had already met her when they were hanging out)

By the way, I know… We did some weird, messed up things back in the days.

Anyway, John simply invited Sara to come over and hang out with him, and they ended up making love.

So, it was now my turn to make things happen with Sara, but I was fighting an uphill battle since we had never met, and she did not even know about my existence.

To make matters worse, John changed his words and refused to introduce me to Sara after they slept together which he had initially promised.

So, I basically had to come up with a way to get a girl – who did not know anything about me – to come and meet me (I only had her phone number from Sean).

At this point in my life, I would not go out of my way to do such things, but I was still at an “experimental” stage of my dating life back then.

So anyway, here is what I did.

First, I sent a simple text, “Hey, is this Sara?”

She was compelled to reply when she saw my text since it was a message from someone who seemingly knows her.

And she did.

As soon as she replied to my text, I picked up my phone and called her immediately, and she answered

When I got on the phone with her, I pretended as if I knew her by asking how she has been (A little playful role-play can work great to alleviate pressure when you are talking to a girl who does not know you very well).

But, after a few seconds, I quickly transitioned into telling her that I actually called her because I saw her from a distance when Sean approached her, and I wanted to get to know her because I found her somewhat cute.

We talked for a few minutes over the phone while I continued to keep things light and playful, and I suggested we go grab something to drink sometime next week.

She was a little hesitant at first, but I assured her we can just be good friends in the worst-case scenario.

Long story short, she did end up coming out to meet me (which ticked off Sean a little, to say the least), and we ended up making sweet love.

Here is what I want you to take away from the story.

There are actually two major lessons I want to emphasize, which you can easily apply when you are talking to your ex-girlfriend (or any girl) who does not reply.

  • First, you always want to spark a girl’s curiosity if your goal is to get her to respond. It is the most powerful psychological trigger to get someone to respond.
  • Second, you want to avoid making a big request over text messages. The idea is exactly the same as if you were a salesman trying to sell your product to potential buyers. It is infinitely easier to sell to someone over the phone rather than over text messages, and it will be even easier if you can meet the person in real life. Use text message as a way to get a girl’s interest, but do not make any big requests (such as asking her to come and meet you) until she is, at least, on the phone with you.

Anyway, I hope this article helped you to get a clearer idea of why your ex-girlfriend may not be responding to your text, and what you should do moving forward.

How To Know If Your Ex Girlfriend Is Over You

When should you move on from your ex-girlfriend?

The truth is, you should never hang onto your ex-girlfriend if she doesn’t feel the same way about you as you feel toward her.

Nothing good ever comes out of holding onto someone who does not love you back.

So, how do you know if she is completely over you? That is what you will find out in this article.

Here are the 9 signs your ex-girlfriend is over you.

1. She does not contact you

If she stopped contacting you, then that is one of the best indicators which signals your ex-girlfriend is over you.

It will be easier for her to move on as she distances herself away from you.

This is the same reason why no contact is so effective when you are trying to move on from a girl (although, it is often recommended as a way to get a girl back).

But, there can also be a few other reasons why a girl stopped contacting you.

These are some of the possibilities.

  • She is using it as a tactic to make you chase her. If you think girls don’t play games with men, then think again. Many girls are expert at manipulating men. This may especially be true if you guys had recently broken up. She is essentially waiting for you to “cave in” first before she does.
  • Another possibility is she still has strong feelings for you. She “has” to block you out of her life for her to move on from you. Otherwise, she is constantly reminded of the painful memories she’s shared with you. In such a case, she obviously has not fully moved on from you.
  • It is also possible she has moved on from you, and she is already dating another man. She feels no need to talk to you anymore since she has found herself a better option. As a side note, this is precisely why you need a back-up plan even while you are in a relationship. I am not saying you should cheat on your girlfriend during a relationship, but you should always have other options you can readily access if things were to go downhill with your current girlfriend. And this will actually help you sustain a happier relationship because you are not loving her from a place where you “need” her to make you happy.

So, what is the best course of action for you to take if your ex-girlfriend stops contacting you?

One thing you definitely should NOT do is to contact her repeatedly while she continues to ignore you.

She will get disgusted by you, and it will drive her even further away from you.

The best thing you can do at this point is to do exactly what she has done and cut off contact with her, not as a way to get her back, but as a way to completely move on from her.

2. She talks about other men

This is based on the assumption that you guys are still talking to each other after a break-up.

When a girl continuously talks about another man (or men), it is a sign her mind is occupied with their thoughts.

And when we constantly think about something, our brain convinces us into believing it must be important for our mind to be fixated on it.

So, there is a good chance her feeling will grow even stronger toward whoever she constantly talks about.

It is essentially a cycle that feeds off each other.

The truth is, you and your ex-girlfriend broke up for a reason. She is most likely ready to explore a new, more exciting option.

But, there is also a possibility she is doing this to make you feel jealous.

Once again, girls can be incredibly manipulative at times.

She may very well be bringing up another man in front of you to induce your jealousy.

I remember watching one of the interviews by Dan Blizerian (A popular social media influencer who became known for getting with many different girls on a regular basis).

He mentioned one of the most common reasons why a girl comes to hook up with him, despite him being a mega womanizer, is because she just went through a break-up, and she wants to piss off her ex-boyfriend.

Girls (and men as well) can often do stupid things purely to get a reaction out of another person.

In such a case, she is obviously not completely over you since she is still trying to seek your validation.

I am sure you already know the best thing to do when a girl does something stupid to piss you off.

You focus on your own life by deleting her out of your life.

An this is going to make a girl chase you more, and increase the chance she is going to want to get back with you.

But you probably would have moved on by that point, and you most likely wouldn’t even want her back by then.

This is also relevant while you are in a relationship with a girl.

You can take it as a big red flag when a girl in a relationship centers her conversation around other men.

Most men either don’t think too much of it, or they feel they have to feel perfectly okay with hearing their girlfriend talk about another man (because they don’t want to appear jealous).

Well, guess what?

The fact she constantly talks about another man shows she is thinking about him often.

So, you have all the right to be concerned when the girl you are seeing revolves her conversation around another man.

But, does that mean you should get mad at her and accuse her of cheating?

No. That will just reveal your weakness and make her think less of you.

Whenever she plays this type of game, I recommend you to let her know that you are willing to walk away at any point.

Just casually let her know you don’t want to deal with that sort of BS. There is no reason for you to get mad.

There is nothing that is quite as powerful as letting the other person know you are perfectly fine without them.

That lack of neediness draws people into you as opposed to repelling them away.

When you do this, she will realize she has not fully won you over and will become even more attached to you.

3. She only talks to you periodically

When a girl gives you a half-baked answer to your messages, you know she has likely moved on from you emotionally.

Or maybe, she answers you after a few days have passed.

That is a sure sign she does not feel a strong emotional connection toward you anymore.

It is not because she was so “busy” that she had no time to reply to your text message.

It is because you are just not her priority anymore.

There really is no reason for you to hold onto your ex-girlfriend when it gets to this point.

I see many guys throwing away their pride and dignity to hang onto a relationship when their ex-girlfriend treats them like dirt.

I have been there and done that, and it only diminishes your sense of self-worth and makes you feel insignificant.

If you still feel like you absolutely have to contact her for one last time before you let her go, then here is my suggestion.

Send a text that arouses her curiosity rather than a text that may come off as desperate and needy.

Your goal should be to get her on the phone and eventually get her to meet you in person rather than trying to make things happen over text.

Whatever you are trying to accomplish, whether it is getting back with her, or simply giving her closure, it is always better if it is done in person.

So, what text should you send to your ex-girlfriend to arouse her curiosity?

Let me provide you with one specific example so you can get a clearer idea.

“Hey, I probably shouldn’t say this, but I figured you should know…”

That’s it. Don’t say anything further until you hear back from her.

This will have such a powerful effect at arousing her curiosity that she won’t be able to help but reply back asking what it is that you want to say.

Even if she is trying to do “no contact” on you, she is most likely going to cave in and at least ask what is up.

When she replies back, you simply tell her you are out with someone at the moment, but you will call her back in a few hours.

By doing this, you are pushing her away slightly and letting her know you are not desperate to talk to her.

When you get her on the phone, make sure you don’t sound angry or bitter.

Your voice tone should sub-communicate that you are emotionally unaffected by a break-up, and you want to emit nothing but positive and playful energy.

When she asks you what it is that you wanted to say, simply say something silly like how your friend accidentally got a girl pregnant, and they are now expecting a twin.

It really does not matter what you say as long as you are able to maintain that playful, nothing-is-a-big-deal type of energy while you are on the phone with her.

When you have provided her with good enough emotion over the phone, you can just casually ask if she wants to grab some coffee in a few days as a friend.

Now, you may be wondering why you would ask her out for a coffee when you want to get back with her, and here is why.

When you tell her that you want to hang out as a friend, it will make her feel weird.

In her mind, she is the one who is supposed to friend-zone you.

By you preemptively telling her that you want to meet her as a friend, you are stripping away the opportunity for her to push you away.

Girls normally like to do things that they are not supposed to do.

When you put her in a “friend” box, she will naturally want to rebel against that by wanting to do something that friends are not supposed to do, such as being naughty with you.

4. She contacts you only when she is down

Not only does this indicate she has emotionally moved on from you, but you are practically being used as her little toy.

You may wrongly assume she is contacting you because she still misses your presence, but this is probably not the case.

More likely than not, she just contacts you because she is familiar with you, and you are convenient.

This obviously does not mean she has any more interest left for you in a romantic way.

This is what my ex-girlfriend used to do to her ex-boyfriend whenever we would get into a fight.

Whenever we would have a big fight, she would call her ex-boyfriend and use him as an emotional tampon, and to induce jealousy from me.

Her ex-boyfriend was living in another country at the time, so it was not like he could do anything with her.

But, he still wasted countless hours trying to comfort his ex-girlfriend (my girlfriend at the time) who got into a relationship with another man (aka me) as soon as he had moved to another country.

I do not want you to end up like him (nor me during my first relationship).

Your time is valuable, and a girl like that will only waste your time and slow you down from living a new, better life.

The problem with this type of girl is that she is going to constantly try to contact you in an attempt to get a hit of validation whenever she is feeling down.

Your solution is to completely go no contact with her.

Block her from everything you can possibly imagine: Your social media accounts, your phone number, and your e-mail.

Do not give her any chance to contact you.

She has already moved on from you. It is time for you to move on from her.

5. She blatantly disrespects you

When a girl shows no respect for you, it means she no longer has strong feelings for you.

A large part of the female attraction has to do with admiration and respect towards her man.

This can manifest in a lot of different ways.

Maybe, she openly puts you down in front of your friends (assuming you still hang out with your ex-girlfriend after a break-up) pretending she is just joking.

Maybe, she nonchalantly talks about how you were terrible in bed (in a casual way as opposed to “I am still emotionally attached to you, so I’m going to say things to get a reaction out of you” way).

In such a case, there really is no reason for you to endure her verbal abuse.

Whether she is putting you down in person or through text, you should completely cut her out of your life.

Why would you let your ex-girlfriend even give you an opportunity to ruin your day?

But, her disrespect toward you can also be a sign she is still emotionally attached to you

Maybe, she calls you and goes on and on about what a terrible boyfriend you were in a relationship.

Maybe, she tells all of your mutual friends about how crazy you are, in an attempt to destroy your reputation.

When she goes out of her way to get on your nerves, she probably still has some feelings for you.

One of my ex-girlfriends wanted to take a “break” for a few weeks during our relationship, and I found out later that she went out with one of my friends during the first week of our “break” (She said she’s never done anything with him physically but god knows what she has done).

Needless to say, she did this to make me mad and get a reaction out of me (apart from her desire to seek validation from another man).

When we finally broke up, and I completely blocked her out of my life, she randomly decided to add half of my male friends (who she did not know) on her social media account.

This type of nonsensical behavior showed she was still emotionally attached to me.

It was her last desperate attempt to grab my attention because she realized it really was all over.

Once again, this is precisely why you want to completely erase your ex-girlfriend out of your life when you are going through a break-up.

You do not want to give her joy of knowing that you are still emotionally attached to her.

Going no contact is the best practice even if your goal is to get back with her.

The more you contact her, the less she is going to value your attention.

If she is the one who initiated a break-up, her mind is already drifting away from you.

When you try to hold onto a girl who is pushing you away, her natural reaction is to push you away even further.

Once you go out and meet a lot of different girls with an open mind, you will soon realize she is not exactly as special as you thought, and you will stop putting her on a pedestal.

6. She does something drastic

When your ex-girlfriend makes a drastic change in her life, you know she is ready to move on from you.

This is likely a statement to herself and those around her that she is ready to move on from a break-up.

Some of the examples are making a drastic change to her appearance, such as getting a tattoo or changing her hairstyle completely. It can be traveling to a new country or taking up a new hobby.

When we want to move on from our old self to become a new version, we often do things that we normally would not have done in the past.

I advise you to do the same.

You need to get out there and explore yourself.

When you are feeling that pain from a relationship, it can often serve as a fuel for you to make a drastic improvement for yourself.

So many people try to ignore or avoid pain because they are quick to label it as something that is bad, but you need to realize it is often the best source of motivation if you know how to use it to your advantage.

Think about the last time you experienced meaningful personal growth.

It was most likely when you were experiencing a lot of pain, and you felt the need to do something to get better.

I decided to start lifting weights because I was so fed up with being fat and out of shape.

I decided to educate myself because I was disgusted by my ignorance and lack of self-awareness.

I decided to go out and talk to people to improve my social skill because I never wanted to go back to how I felt after my first break-up.

Whenever I made any sort of drastic improvement in my life, it always involved some degree of pain.

So, you want to take a moment and use this breakup as an opportunity for you to think about what area of life you always wanted to improve.

It can really be anything, such as improving your fitness, your social skills, or reading more books.

If you can’t think of anything, just pick one hobby and start doing something.

Most men use “I don’t know what I want to do” as an excuse to just sit there and stay idle.

The best way to find your passion is to get off your butt and start doing something.

Sign up for the gym to improve your body. Join a toastmaster to improve your speaking. Go to an improv class to learn how to think on your feet.

Do not waste your time trying to “figure out” what it is that you want to do.

What is most important is that you pick one and start.

You will be surprised to discover that you actually enjoy doing things you never thought you would like.

7. She posts a lot on her social media

So, what does this say anything about knowing whether your ex-girlfriend is over you or not?

This is not a difficult question to answer if you understand why people post on social media.

Why do you think people post pictures and videos of their lives on social media?

Do you think it is just to share their life with family and friends?

One of the major reasons that motivate people to post on their social media account is their need for validation from others.

They want others to acknowledge and recognize them.

So, why do you think your ex-girlfriend’s posting frequency went up since she broke up with you?

It is because she feels de-validated after a break-up.

She wants to fill that void she feels inside with the attention of other men.

And it has never been easier for a woman to get attention from men.

All she has to do is post a picture of her face or body and hundreds of desperate men will like her pictures, and they will privately message her to ask what she is up to.

I remember when I was with one of my ex-girlfriends, and every time she would post a picture of us together on her social media account, she would get messages from dozens of guys asking if she had gotten into a relationship.

It is crazy how easy it is for a girl to be swamped with validation with just a click of a button in this day and age.

This is precisely why you need to constantly talk to new girls even when you are in a relationship.

I am not recommending you to cheat by any means, but you should actively expand your options even while you are in a committed relationship.

Do you want to know why?

Because those guys that added her on her social media account as just her “friends” will be the first ones she will message to have a sexy time when you guys break up.

Think about this for a moment.

Throughout your relationship with a girl, she will get hundreds of guys wanting to be her friends on her social media accounts, and she will, of course, accept most of them as her friends because what girl doesn’t want extra likes on her pictures?

But if you were to ever confront her about it, she will just say these men sent her requests first, and she simply accepted their requests.

She will also likely accuse you of being jealous and insecure.

Let’s now change the story.

What would happen if you were to start adding a bunch of women on your social media account (since it’s usually the man that has to initiate and lead, whether it is on social media or in real life)?

She would give you a massive crap, and she will likely accuse you of cheating on her.

So, what happens if you stop expanding your female social circle, and you stop adding girls on your social media accounts because you don’t want to deal with her BS?

When you do eventually break up with your girlfriend, you will be left with no option while your girlfriend is out having fun with men who were just her “social media friends” when she was in a relationship with you.

This is precisely why you absolutely must actively socialize with new women even while you are in a committed relationship.

Never ever put all your eggs in one basket.

8. She only replies with a very short text

When you send a text message to your ex-girlfriend, and she either replies with a very short text, or she replies a few days later, then she is most likely over you.

Think about the times when you reply to someone with a few words, or you take days to reply back.

Isn’t it mostly when you don’t deem that person as very important?

When she replies to your text with one word, she is indirectly letting you know that she does not consider you as an important part of her life anymore.

If you still occupied a large space in her mind, it would be extremely difficult for her to delay her reply by more than a few hours.

When your ex-girlfriend shows a low level of interest, do not make a mistake of double or triple texting her.

The worst thing you can do when a girl is showing a low level of emotional investment is to chase her even more.

You are only further solidifying your position as a pathetic loser in her mind by chasing her.

If you really want to contact her, then you should call her instead of sending her a long text message.

There are two reasons for this.

The first reason is that it is always better to communicate over the phone rather than via text message. I won’t go into any more detail since I have already hammered away at this topic countless times in my other articles.

The second reason is not what many people think about, but it can still make a big difference in how a girl thinks of you.

Let’s say you send her a long text message with thousands of words that express just how much you love her.

How do you think she is going to feel?

Do you think she will be excited to read all that you wrote because she appreciates how much effort you put into writing all of that?

That may be a possibility if she was still in love with you, but definitely not when she has already moved on from you.

She will think you are being desperate and needy by sending her such a long, wordy text message, and she will be too repelled to even finish reading everything that you wrote.

More importantly, what do you think she will feel every time she looks back on your text?

Your long text will always serve as a reminder for her that she’s made the right decision to move on from you.

But, it is a different story when you call her.

You are not leaving her any pieces of evidence that will remind her you were once a needy, pathetic loser (if you were, that is…).

There is a chance her perception of you will change over time (for the better), without those long text messages that will make her remember you in a negative light.

9. She has found a new man

If you know she has found a new man, then that is a good enough reason for you to assume she is over you.

She may still talk to you and even say things that make you think she wants to get back with you.

But, you need to realize most girls live and die for male attention.

The chances are, she just likes the extra attention she is getting from you while she is having fun with another man.

I made a mistake of chasing my ex-girlfriend even when she was talking to other men during our supposed “break”.

Guess what it did?

She realized she could easily push my boundaries, and her behaviors only got worse over time.

She stopped taking me seriously because she knew she could practically get away with anything.

It was only when I completely let go of my desire to chase her that she wanted to come back (although I was completely over her by that point).

There is nothing to be gained by chasing your ex-girlfriend when she has moved onto another man.

All those calls you make and all of the text messages you send her will only serve to stroke her ego.

I am sure the last thing you want to do is to validate your ex-girlfriend who has left you for another man.

What you need to do instead is to go out and find a new girl.

You may feel lost and feel like you don’t know how to meet girls especially when you have just broken up with your girlfriend.

These are the steps you should take if that is how you feel.

First, start talking to girls from school and work.

This does not necessarily mean you have to hit on all of them (although that would be fine if you feel the connection with the girl you talk to).

As you talk to more girls, you will start to gain more confidence that you had lost after a break-up.

You will start to get the hang of how to flirt with girls again, and you will be back in the game in no time.

As your confidence begins to increase, you can even go out to the bar or a club to talk to girls you find attractive.

Once you reach that point, you will no longer feel like you have no option when it comes to women.

Anyway, those are my tips on how you can figure out if your ex-girlfriend is over you.

Always put yourself first!

What To Do If Your Ex Girlfriend Ignores Or Avoids You

It is not a pleasant feeling to be ignored by someone.

And if it is someone you dearly loved that is ignoring you? It can feel like your heart is being ripped apart.

I understand what you are feeling right now.

You probably feel like this pain will persist, and you just want your ex-girlfriend to come back, and you feel everything will be back to normal.

While I am not a big advocate of encouraging men to chase after a woman who has moved on, I also understand you sometimes only learn through experiences.

In this article, you will learn the most important principles for getting your ex-girlfriend to chase you, and also some of the best ways to completely erase her out of your mind if you would rather move on from her.

Here are the 8 things you can do when your ex-girlfriend ignores you.

1. Give her closure

So, why is giving her closure a good idea?

The first reason has to do with you.

It’s good for your own mental well-being to give closure to your ex-girlfriend.

By doing this, you are essentially making a vow to yourself that you will be moving on from your ex-girlfriend.

If you don’t give proper closure, you may want to subconsciously hang onto your ex-girlfriend, although you know it is not the right thing to do (especially when your ex-girlfriend is ignoring you).

Another reason why you may want to consider giving closure is that it can be an effective strategy for getting your ex-girlfriend back.

When your ex-girlfriend feels like there is a possibility you guys can get back together, then it can be easy for her to just ignore you.

We do not value something we feel we can easily access whenever we want to.

When you tell your girlfriend you are going to be moving on from her, you are now giving her a sense of urgency.

People often only take action when they feel like they are about to lose something.

It is not different when it comes to a relationship.

When she feels the pressure of losing you, she is much more likely to want you back.

The good news is, there is only upside to giving her closure at this point.

Your ex-girlfriend is already ignoring you, so really do not have anything to lose.

So, how should you give her closure?

Should you write a few thousands of words message detailing how much you love and care about her, and really let her know she means more than anyone else in your life?

If that is what you want to do, you can go ahead and do that. I am an advocate for learning from your own mistakes.

But I need to warn you, however, you will likely feel distraught by the response you get from your ex-girlfriend.

Actually, you will be lucky to get any response by sending such a text message.

And here is why.

Your ex-girlfriend is already ignoring you which mean she currently has no interest in hearing anything from you.

What do you think will be the outcome when you write a long message to a person who does not want anything to do with you?

Your ex-girlfriend’s brain will conveniently shut off as soon as she sees a big block of text.

That is why you want to keep your messages short and concise when you are giving closure to your ex.

This will make her desire your attention more, and amplify that feeling she is about to really lose you.

Simply let her know in your message that you are ready to fully move on from her, and you will be completely cutting off contact with her.

Just keep it to a few sentences at most.

2. Induce her jealousy

Girls can be extremely jealous, and they can also be extremely competitive when it comes to fighting for attention from the man they desire.

It is in human nature to feel at least a little upset when we feel like someone took away what we deserve.

That is precisely what she is going to feel when she sees you with other girls, or when she sees you living your life to the fullest after you guys broke up.

Let’s be real for a second here.

As much as she may tell you she wants to see you happy (after you guys broke up), she does not actually want to see you being all happy without her.

She wants you to feel like she is the best you could ever get.

She wants you to suffer and lose sleep over how much you want her back.

Because that is what is going to make her feel validated.

So knowing this, the best way you can make her feel de-validated (and, in turn, chase your validation) is to have a blast after you break up with her.

When she sees you having an amazing time with your friends and other girls, she is going to feel like she meant nothing to you.

And that is exactly what you want her to feel if you want there to be any chance of getting back with her.

You want her to realize that you don’t need her to feel happy and live a full life.

The person who is the least attached is the one who has the most power in any form of a relationship.

When she senses you don’t need her, she will start to chase you.

So, what are the best ways to induce jealousy in your ex-girlfriend?

Talk to other girls 

If you still see your ex-girlfriend for whatever reason, I recommend you talk to other girls in her presence.

Don’t make it look like you are intentionally talking to other girls to make her feel jealous.

You should actually be focused on having a good conversation while you are talking to other girls, so she can clearly see you are just having an awesome time without being a try-hard.

Do not even look toward your ex-girlfriend’s direction to gauge her reaction.

Be completely present with the girl you are talking to, and put all of your focus on having an amazing conversation with her.

Utilize social media 

You also want to use your social media to your advantage.

I would normally recommend men to delete their ex-girlfriend from social media accounts (That is if they are trying to move on. But, if you are hoping to get back with her, your social media account can serve as an incredibly effective tool.

Sooner or later, she is going to stalk you on your social media account, and when she sees new pictures of you looking happy with other attractive girls and your friends, she is not going to be happy with what she sees.

When you pull this off correctly without being a try-hard, she is most likely going to be the first one to contact you and ask how you are doing.

But, even if you initiate contact first, she already knows you weren’t being all sad and pathetic after she broke up with you.

She is not going to view you as being a desperate loser when you initiate contact with her (after she has seen you are enjoying your life from the pictures you have been posting on your social media).

3. Cut off contact with her

I have hammered away at “no contact” in many of my previous articles, so I may sound like a broken record at this point.

But, it is simply THAT effective.

Cutting off contact with your ex-girlfriend serves two major purposes.

One reason why you want to consider not contacting your ex-girlfriend is that it is by far one of the most effective ways to get her back.

When you completely take away all of your attention and validation from your ex-girlfriend, she is going to feel an unbearable amount of pain that she will often be left with no choice but to contact you.

Think about advertisements for typical weight loss pills or programs.

How do they induce a desire for their products in potential customers?

They amplify the potential customer’s emotion by saying any and everything that would get them emotionally riled up until it reaches a tipping point.

When that happens, people rush to buy their products since their logical brain shut off, and they can only think with their emotional brain.

No contact works much the same way in that it will amplify your ex-girlfriend’s emotion to the point that she can no longer think rationally.

Another good reason for going no contact is for you to move on from your ex-girlfriend.

While cutting off contact is, without a doubt, one of the most effective ways to get your ex-girlfriend back, there is still a good chance she will never come back no matter what you do.

This is especially the case in this day and age where women essentially have unlimited options when it comes to dating and hooking up.

All they have to do is to go on online dating apps or message someone on their social media accounts… And Voila! They have got hundreds of thirsty men messaging to ask them out on a date.

So, even if she feels de-validated by your no contact “tactic”, she can easily seek validation from hundreds of other men with the click of a button.

And that is why I recommend you to stay away from using no contact as a tactic.

You should be cutting off contact with your ex-girlfriend with the intention of never seeing her ever again.

You want to completely let go of your attachment toward a certain outcome.

It is much like running on a treadmill.

Let’s say you are running for 30 minutes on a treadmill, and you are looking at the time for the entire duration of your run.

The time is going to pass by incredibly slowly.

On the other hand, if your attention is focused on somewhere else, such as listening to your audiobook or watching tv shows, then the time is going to fly by fast.

If your attention is focused on whether your ex-girlfriend is going to contact you or not, the entire process of no contact is going to be torture until the moment she finally contacts you.

But, if you are focused on living your own life, and come to terms with the fact that there is a good chance you guys will never get back together, you will be able to live your life and move on much faster.

4. Intensify her curiosity

This is one of the last things I would recommend if you are trying to get your ex-girlfriend to respond (The latter part of this article will be focused more on moving on from your ex-girlfriend).

This is not something I would do at this stage of my life, nor would I recommend anyone else to do it, but it is brutally effective in getting someone to respond.

I understand you may be at a point where you feel like you absolutely must contact her for one last time before you can move on.

If that applies to you, then this is what I would recommend you to do.

If she is already ignoring you, then your attempt to re-initiate contact will only seem desperate in her eyes for the most part.

But, it will be near impossible for her not to respond if you know how to intensify her curiosity.

Do you ever see one of those articles with the headlines that reveal “shocking” discoveries when you are browsing news online?

All of those articles aim to spike your curiosity to get you to click on them.

There is a reason why curiosity is the most powerful trigger that is used by top marketers.

If you want your ex-girlfriend to respond to you, there really is nothing better than spiking her curiosity.

She is even more incentivized to respond to you when you get her curious because you are emotionally relevant to her since you were once her boyfriend.

So, how do you put this into practice?

The first step is to send her a text message that is short and ambiguous.

The principle behind the text message you send is to create an “information gap”.

When there is a gap in the information you provide, she is going to feel the need to fill in that gap by contacting you.

Let me give you an example to help you better understand what I mean.

“Hey, you may be upset if I tell you this but…”

Do you see how the above text arouses curiosity, but you are not revealing everything in your text?

You don’t have to send your text exactly like that.

What is important is that whatever texts you send, you arouse her curiosity and leave an informational gap.

So, what do you do when a girl replies back to your text?

You simply pick up the phone and call her.

You want to carry the momentum that has been generated from your text all the way to getting her on the phone.

When she gets on the phone with you, keep your conversation light and playful.

Simply play it off by telling her something silly like how this one time, you ate her favorite chocolate bars when she was asleep.

Once you get enough positive emotion flowing over the phone, you simply ask if she wants to hang out sometime this week as a friend.

By asking to hang out as a friend, you are minimizing the pressure she would feel, and you are also preemptively eliminating a possible excuse she would use to not meet up with you (aka I don’t feel the same way about you… we should move on… etc).

When you are in person with her, you continue to keep things light and playful.

Don’t talk about your break-up, or act all depressed.

You need to realize that you cannot force a girl to do something by trying to logically convince her.

The best you can do is to provide her with a strong positive motion that she starts to see you under a new light.

Don’t set up a second time to meet after you guys are done hanging out.

Don’t talk about getting back together. If you bring that up, it will just make it look like you only wanted to hang out with her for that reason alone.

You should solely focus on having an awesome time together, and leave her on a high note.

The chances are, she is going to be the first one to contact you to hang out again if you pulled this off correctly.

5. Master the art of mindfulness

I still vividly remember my first break up.

It was definitely one of the most painful experiences I ever had to endure.

It felt like the pain was going to last forever, and I did not know what I can do to soothe the pain.

Sure, I had heard of all of that advice, such as spending more time with family and friends, talking to other girls, and not initiating contact with your ex-girlfriend, etc.

But, all that advice went right over my head at the time of a break-up when I was faced with an insurmountable pain.

To make it even worse, it happened during the final exam period, and I was not able to focus on my study at all.

So, what is one thing that helped me to withstand that tough time?

It was mindfulness meditation.

I was able to practice staying more in the present moment with meditation, and it allowed me to create enough space and willpower in my mind to get off my butt and do things that are necessary to get over a break-up.

Whatever that you do to get over your ex-girlfriend, it will be infinitely more effective if you practice being mindful of the thoughts that are looping in your head.

Right now, your brain is filled with anger and remorse.

You are constantly wondering why your ex-girlfriend is ignoring you, and if there is any chance you guys will ever get back together.

In order for you to recover fast from a break-up, you need to learn to let go of those thoughts, and meditation will be one of your best friends for that.

I won’t go into detail on how you should meditate in this article since I don’t claim to be an expert on that.

You can simply look it up on the internet, and you will be presented with thousands of resources.

What is more important is that you actually do it and make it a part of your daily routine.

Just reading about meditation without practicing it yourself would be equivalent to reading about how to get into better shape without going to the gym.

If you are hoping to make a meaningful transformation, you simply have to start “doing”.

6. Move your darn body

There is a reason why a lot of people primarily rely on physical exercises to get over a break-up.

As Tony Robbins says, “Motion creates emotion”.

Sometimes, it is just best to move your darn body to change how you feel rather than sitting there trying to “think” your way out of negative thoughts.

You will also boost your confidence by exercising and getting into a better shape.

As anyone who has been through a tough break-up can attest, there is a good chance your confidence has hit rock bottom, and you are thinking to yourself if you will ever find love again.

Apart from numerous mental benefits of exercising, your confidence is also influenced by how you look.

As petty as it may sound, when you look better, you will feel good about yourself.

While I urge men to not be so obsessed over their looks, it is still in our human nature to care about how we look to others, no matter how much you practice detaching yourself from other’s validation.

You can try to fight against that, or you can accept it as part of our natural desire, and go with the flow.

When I was trying to get over my ex-girlfriend, I used to spend multiple hours at the gym.

It was not only to get into better shape, but it was also a place for me to socialize and make friends.

Gym attracts some of the most beautiful girls, and people you meet there will likely share similar goals, such as eating more healthy food and improving fitness.

And as we have mentioned earlier, you are not going to be thinking about your ex-girlfriend when you are aggressively moving your body.

By the time you get back home, you will be too exhausted to dwell over her, and you will end up falling asleep before you even have a chance to wallow in sorrow.

It does not necessarily have to be lifting weights, but I absolutely urge you to take up some form of physical activity.

As a general rule of thumb, it is better to take up something that is intense and requires you to remain focused.

For example, learning a martial art, such as Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu would be good for this reason.

Not only will you be spending a lot of energy when you are going against your rolling (sparring) partner (especially if you are a beginner), but you will also have to stay focused for you to learn new techniques.

It will drain you both mentally and physically, and there will be no room for you to engage in the negative thought loop about your ex-girlfriend afterward.

7. Travel or move to another country

Let’s get this straight. You are obviously looking for advice on what to do when your ex-girlfriend ignores you because you are experiencing a lot of pain at this moment.

So far, we have already discussed different things you can do to maximize your chance of getting your ex-girlfriend back.

The truth is, there is no guarantee she will come back even if you do all the right moves on your part (as with anything else in life).

That is why I advise men to focus on their life after a break up as opposed to obsessing over getting their ex-girlfriend back.

Because when you focus on living your life, your ex-girlfriend will often come back begging for your attention, as a natural by-product.

In my experience, one of the best ways I have found to get over my ex-girlfriend was to travel or move to another country.

At the time of my first break-up, I moved to Australia from Canada to study.

And because most of my attention was focused on adapting to a new environment, I did not have a lot of additional mental reserve left to dwell over my ex-girlfriend.

Everything was completely new, including all of the restaurants I tried, all of the places I visited, and all of the people I met.

There were no traces of memory of my ex-girlfriend in any of the places I had visited, nor any of the people I had met.

My brain was able to conveniently push away my old memories with all of the new memories I was accumulating, and my ex-girlfriend became a memory of the past.

Without any triggers to pull me back to a negative thought loop, I was able to get over my ex-girlfriend much faster than it would otherwise have been.

So, when you are stuck in a rut, go out and meet new people and experience new things.

Your old memory is often best replaced with new memories.

Most people do not acknowledge the power of the environment, and they make a mistake of trying to solve every single one of their problems through sheer willpower.

It is equivalent to you trying to lose weight with a room full of junk foods filled with pizza, fries, and sodas.

An easier way would be to simply remove all of the calorically dense food from your environment, so you are not surrounded by so much temptation that would likely pull you back into your old eating habit.

Not only does this principle apply when it comes to getting over your ex-girlfriend, but it also applies to everything else in life.

Are you trying to run a successful business? Seek out advice from a successful businessman instead of asking for advice from a business professor who has never run a business in his life.

Are you trying to improve your skill at something? Surround yourself with those who are excelling in whatever you are trying to improve instead of hanging out with other mediocre people.

8. Learn from your mistake

Once your pain becomes dull to the point you can reflect back on your relationship without going crazy, it would be worthwhile for you to extract the lessons from your past relationship.

It may be true you and your ex-girlfriend broke up largely because of her fault.

Maybe, she cheated on you, or maybe she was just a psycho.

Regardless of what the reason may be, there is always something you can learn from a break-up.

Sometimes, it may be reflecting back on how you behaved in a relationship, or it may just be a matter of you reminding yourself to be extra thoughtful before you jump into a relationship in the near future.

I am sure you know people who make the same mistakes of getting into a toxic relationship over and over again.

It is not rare to come across a woman who always complains how she can never find a good man.

The first time may be a mistake or just bad luck, but if you start to see a consistent pattern in whom you attract, then you can’t deny you are contributing to your own misery.

As a wise man once said, progress equals pain plus reflection.

Without reflecting back on your past experiences, you are going to be repeating the same mistakes.

This does not mean you should ever dwell over what happened in the past.

Whatever happened already happened. It is a waste of your emotional energy to look back at your past experiences through the lens of regret.

Try to see if you can answer a few of these questions.

What was the major reason for a break-up?

Was it something that progressed over a period of time, or was it a specific incident that tore apart your relationship?

Were you and your ex-girlfriend even compatible, or did you ignore all of the red flags because you were lonely, and you just wanted to be with someone?

Did you let your ex-girlfriend cross your boundaries frequently?

These are all the questions I want you to think about when you are looking back at your past relationships.

Once again, you want to approach this process like a scientist analyzing the data.

When you start thinking you should have done this or that to salvage the relationship, you are only going to drive yourself crazy.

Learn from the mistakes you made, so you don’t repeat them in your future relationships.

By the way, you might think it may be a good idea for you to ask your ex-girlfriend for what you could have done better in a relationship.

But generally speaking, this is useless because most girls won’t tell the truth, or they simply don’t have enough self-awareness to know what exactly made them lose interest in you.

So, unless your ex-girlfriend is one of the rare few who is willing to tell you the truth, AND she has enough self-awareness on top of that, I would advise against asking her for feedback.

Anyway, this is about the best advice I can give you if you are struggling to get over an ex-girlfriend who is ignoring you.

I sincerely wish you the speediest recovery!

How To Get Over Your Ex-Girlfriend

It is never easy to get over someone who has been a significant part of your life.

How tough is it to let go of your ex-girlfriend when you feel like she understands you better than anyone else in the world?

At least that is how I felt at the time of my first break-up.

But, it is important for you to figure out how to move on and live your own life.

It is true that time heals everything, but there are a few things you can do to really speed up the process of recovery.

While you may feel like breaking up with your girlfriend is the worst thing that’s ever happened to you, it may also be the biggest blessing you’ve ever experienced, and you will soon find out why, at the end of this article.

So, let’s get started if you are ready.

These are the 8 most proven ways to get over your ex-girlfriend.

1. Embrace the pain instead of resisting it

When you try to resist something, it will continue to linger in your mind.

You need to accept that it is normal for you to feel pain when you break up with your girlfriend

There is absolutely nothing wrong with letting yourself wallow in sorrow for a short while.

In fact, it will most likely speed up your recovery process if you allow yourself to bask in pain without trying to “force” yourself to feel okay.

The problem arises when you start to judge what you are feeling, and you try to suppress your emotion.

The more you try to avoid feeling pain, the more it is going to take control of you.

So, by all means, go ahead and get mad at how poorly she treated you, and what a huge pain in the arse she was while you guys were in a relationship.

Just realize this is a transitory phase, and not a place you want to be stuck for a long time

2. Spend more time with people

Once you have dwelled in sorrow long enough, I recommend you to spend more time with family and friends.

This will allow you to get over your ex-girlfriend faster.

When you are hanging out with others, your mind is going to be more often engaged in them rather than defaulting into thoughts about your ex-girlfriend.

I know this may sound a little contradictory to what was discussed in the previous section.

But once you have gone through that initial period of break-up where you weeded out that intense feeling of sadness, it is time for you to focus on moving on.

This is also why you do not want to neglect your family and friends while you are in a relationship.

Not only is that a behavior of a needy, low-value male who is desperate for women, but you will also have no one to lean on when things end badly with your girlfriend (which is statistically more likely to happen than not).

3. Meet a new girl

People have mixed opinions on this.

Some argue you should not be so eager to meet a new girl after a break-up, and some say the wounds that are caused by one person is best healed by another person.

While I do not recommend you to jump into a relationship right after a break-up, I certainly believe it is a good idea to interact with a lot of girls.

Your emotions are in a heightened state following a break-up, and there is a higher chance you will make an irrational decision, which is the reason why I recommend you to stay away from looking for a relationship for the time being.

But, talking to a lot of girls will allow you to soak up feminine energy (as woo-woo as it may sound) that will allow you to get over your ex-girlfriend faster.

When you break up with a girl, a large portion of your brain capacity is wasted on beating yourself up with negative self-talk, such as how you are undesirable, or how no woman will ever like you.

So, it is not a bad idea to get that needed validation from other women during the time of a break-up.

I am not telling you to become a man who constantly seeks validation from girls.

You want to detach yourself from seeking other’s validation as much as you can in the long run.

But, it will serve as an effective temporary fix for you to endure this tough time.

4. Delete her from your life

You want to delete her from your social media accounts, block her from your phone and email, and completely delete her out of your life.

This is one of the most important things you can do to get over your ex-girlfriend.

This is especially important if your ex-girlfriend has a tendency to contact you whenever she is feeling emotional.

There is simply no reason for you to keep in touch with her at this point in time.

When you are constantly exposed to her pictures on social media, and she periodically sends you a text message, it is just going to cloud your brain and slow you down from moving on.

She is the biggest distraction in your life at this moment, and you want to completely eliminate that distraction if you want to move on fast.

Do not ever contact her. Do not talk about her with friends, and do not look her up on social media.

5. Give her a closure

This can be an effective way to get over your ex-girlfriend if you cannot let go of that little hope of getting her back.

It is the little hope that really kills you from inside.

When you have fully come to terms with the fact that you guys will never get back together, your mind is ready to move on from her.

But, when your brain convinces you to believe that there is still a slight chance she may come back to you, you can’t help but fixate on that.

You need to realize you guys broke up for a reason.

If it was meant to work out, you guys would have found a way to work things out, prior to breaking up.

So, if you are struggling with fully letting go of your attachment to get back with her, then you may want to consider giving her closure.

When I broke up with my first girlfriend, I told her I will be blocking her from everything, and she is not going to be able to contact me, and that I will completely move on from her.

As sad as I was to officially declare an end to our relationship, I also felt this weight lifted off my chest.

6. Tell others to not mention your ex-girlfriend

Sometimes, your friends can be the biggest obstacles on your journey to getting over your ex-girlfriend.

They may be constantly talking about your ex-girlfriend in front of you and make it more difficult for you to move on.

You have two choices if you have a friend who lacks the common sense to not bring her up in a conversation.

The first option is to simply hang out with other friends instead of spending time with him.

The second option is to be direct and let him know that you would appreciate it if he would not constantly bring up your ex-girlfriend in a conversation.

Let your friends know you have deleted her out of your life, and you are completely moving on from her, and that it would greatly help if they wouldn’t constantly remind you of her.

On the off chance that they don’t respect your request, you can use that as an opportunity to find a new group of friends who will enhance your life.

You are going to be influenced by the people you spend your time with, so there is no reason for you to settle for any less than you deserve, even when it comes to your friendship.

7. Go on a vacation

Going on a vacation is a great way to move on from your ex-girlfriend because you are moving away from everything that can trigger your brain to think about her.

If you have been in a long-term relationship with your ex-girlfriend – lasting more than a year or longer – then you have likely shared a lot of memories with her.

All of the different places you guys have visited together in your city will serve as reminders for you to engage in thoughts about her.

When you go on a vacation to places where you have no shared memories with your ex-girlfriend, you are eliminating a lot of potential triggers that are going to remind you of her.

You also won’t have to worry about your family and friends constantly reminding you and asking what happened between the two of you.

It is also a great opportunity for you to make new friends, and possibly meet a new girl, who is going to share a short, but intense romance with you.

8. Focus on developing yourself

This really is the best time for you to grow.

We usually do not take action to improve ourselves unless we are dissatisfied with our life, and we experience an unbearable amount of pain.

Think about how you ended up reading this article in the first place.

Isn’t it because you were experiencing intense pain, and you had no choice but to look for a solution to ease your pain?

There is nothing like pain and insecurity that will propel you to grow if you decide to use that energy as a fuel instead of letting it break you down.

And that is precisely what I did when my first girlfriend broke up with me.

I realized I am terrible at interacting with women (and people in general), and I knew I was destined to live a very lonely life if I didn’t do something to improve my social skill.

So, I decided to do everything I possibly could to learn how to attract women.

It did not matter if it meant going out at night and getting rejected by dozens of girls because I was not going to let anything stop me from becoming the version of myself I always knew I could become.

So, I want you to ask yourself what is the area you always wanted to improve.

This can really be anything, such as running a marathon, practicing martial arts, or improving your public speaking ability.

Whatever it may be, I want you to use this breakup as a fuel for you to go all-in on that.

If you do that, you may very well come out on the other side as someone you can barely recognize!

I Can’t Talk To Girls!

Let’s be honest for a moment. There are not that many more frustrating things for a man than lacking the ability to approach and talk to a girl he finds attractive.

As a man, you are expected to take the initiative and lead along every step of your interaction with girls.

If you can’t do that, you are guaranteed to live a very lonely life.

So, let’s talk about why your mind goes completely blank when you try to talk to girls. Because the primary step to transforming yourself is to first become aware of your underlying issues.

These are the 6 reasons why you can’t talk to girls.

1. You lack the experience

If you have barely talked to any girls in your life, how can you possibly expect to be good at talking to them off the bat?

It only makes sense for you to not be great at interacting with girls if you lack the experience.

Think about anything that you are proficient at. It most likely took you a lot of practice and trial and error for you to get to that level of proficiency.

The more you talk to girls and the faster you become okay with making a fool out of yourself, the quicker you are going to get good at talking to girls.

There is no substitute for hard work and experience.

By the way, this does not necessarily mean it has to take you a long time to get good with girls.

If you want to get proficient fast, you just need to be willing to take more focused action in a short period of time than what most are willing to put them through.

I used to go to Muay Thai classes, and there was this kid who had been training there for years, but he still had terrible techniques because he lacked focus and intensity during his practice.

There was another kid who had been training for less than a year, but he had already surpassed a lot of people there who had been training for a longer period.

Needless to say, a large part of his success was due to him taking his training very seriously and never skipping a session.

If you apply the same principle to talking to girls, you are going to be able to accelerate your learning curve.

So, go out there and accumulate those experiences!

2. You care way too much about what she thinks

Another reason why you struggle to talk to girls is that you just care way too much.

You care how you look, you care how your voice sounds, and you care if what you say is going to sound stupid.

Yes, I understand how difficult it is to not care about what an attractive girl thinks about you.

It only makes sense that you want to portray the best version of yourself when you talk to girls.

But, you need to realize the fact that you care so much is exactly why you can’t talk to girls.

What happens when you feel the pressure while interacting with girls?

Your brain freezes up, and you can’t think of anything to say.

As soon as you are able to let go of your attachment for wanting to look a certain way or sound a certain way, you are going to alleviate a lot of pressure off your shoulders.

Instead of thinking she is there to judge every one of your behavior, you want to adopt a new, different mindset that is not so toxic.

You need to understand you are talking to a girl to get to know her and see if you guys are a good fit.

If you guys turn out to be not so great fit for each other, then it is not a big deal.

There are millions of girls out there, so you will never ever run out of girls to talk to in your lifetime.

3. You put them on a pedestal

This is especially prevalent with men who are very deprived of their dating lives.

When they talk to a girl, they treat it as if it is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

If you put this sort of heavy pressure on yourself, it is only going to make your minds go blank when you talk to girls.

If you feel extremely nervous around attractive women, there is a good chance you view them as being a different creature than men.

You, of course, logically understand that we are all the same human beings and that we are no different from each other.

But, your brain has not processed on a deep, emotional level that women really are no different than men.

And that is precisely why you feel like you need to “perform” or “do” something when you are talking to a girl.

If you did not put women on a pedestal, and you viewed them for who they are (just another vulnerable human being who wants to be loved), would you really have trouble talking to them?

4. You have social anxiety

I suffered from severe social anxiety for my entire life until I was in my late 20s, and I would not wish it on my worst enemy.

You are living but not living when you suffer from extreme social anxiety.

Just a mere thought of stepping out of your house scares the living crap out of you, and your brain convinces you into believing everyone is judging you.

We already talked about how you probably care way too much about what a girl thinks of you.

Bad social anxiety will make you believe everyone is secretly mocking you and pointing fingers at you.

I remember when I used to struggle to even order food over the phone in my high-school years.

I did not want to open my mouth to talk because I was so afraid the person on the other end of the phone would not be able to hear my voice or understand what I’m saying.

If you have experienced anything similar to what I have described above, I highly recommend you to seek therapy.

That will help you get better at talking to girls than you repeatedly forcing yourself to talk to girls, without treating an underlying issue.

Not only will you gain more confidence with girls when you improve your social anxiety, but it will also improve the quality of your life in general.

Social anxiety affects every area of your life, including but not limited to how you perform at your job interviews, your ability to interact with customers and your co-workers, your romantic life, and much more.

So, please do not take it lightly!

On a side note, I have personally found meditation had a profound effect on reducing my social anxiety, so I recommend you to give it a try if you haven’t.

But, it is still not a substitute for seeking professional help.

5. You try too hard

You may be trying way too hard when you talk to girls.

Maybe, you memorized a couple of pick-up lines or funny jokes on the internet, and you even managed to make her laugh with them.

But, you have no more things to say because you were not really expressing your real self.

You always have to “try” to come up with things to say because you do not put your primary focus on connecting with girls in a meaningful way.

Instead, your focus is on putting on a performance to get a good reaction out of girls.

When you do this, you will, of course, get stuck in your head and run out of things to talk about.

Even if you do manage to keep a conversation going, you are not going to be able to sustain a nice flow while you talk to a girl, and there will be no spark in your interaction.

Once again, you need to change your current mindset when you talk to a girl.

You can’t be so fixated on yourself if you want to have a nice talk with a girl and form a meaningful connection.

You need to shift your focus to actually getting to know a girl.

Get out of your head and look at the girl that is sitting in front of you.

What is she feeling? What makes her happy? What makes her sad?

If you can answer those questions, you will be one step closer to making a girl fall for you.

6. You have an ulterior motive

It is also possible you are entirely focused on getting something out of the interaction when you talk to girls.

You may be thinking about how you can get her number.

Maybe, you are thinking about when is the best time to go in for the kiss.

Or you really want to ask her to come back home with you, but you are trying to figure out the right time to ask, and it is impossible for you to pay attention to anything she is saying.

When you have these ulterior motives in your mind, you are not going to be present in a conversation.

You may think you are good at hiding your intention, but the other person can usually sense something is off by observing a little change in micro-expression of your face (or just a subtle change in your voice).

Let me just point out that it is, without a doubt, important for you to take the initiative and lead the interaction, whether it be asking for her number, or going in for the kiss.

But at the same time, you also need to cultivate that ability to be fully present when you are talking to girls.

Because it is unlikely she is going to want to follow your lead if you are not fully present during a conversation.

How To Get A Girl’s Attention

The first step to attracting a girl is to get her attention.

When you do not have her full attention, there really is not much you can do to make a girl fall for you.

But, how do you become the master of commanding a girl’s attention?

Well, that is exactly what we are going to discuss in this article.

Here are the 17 ways to capture a girl’s attention.

1. Project a positive energy

Emitting positive energy is a sure way to get a girl’s attention.

In fact, it is one of the best ways to grab people’s attention in general.

Depression and anxiety are at an all-time high especially among young people, thanks to the rise of the internet and social media.

It is becoming rarer to come across a person who has a smile on his or her face.

Not only is your positive energy going to capture a girl’s attention, but it will also let her know you are capable of regulating your own emotion.

Many girls are already as moody as they are, and they don’t want their men to be the same way.

How can she possibly not pay attention to you when you are the source of her happiness, every time she sees you?

2. Make her laugh

A girl cannot help but feel a favorable feeling toward a man who makes her laugh.

This does not automatically mean she is going to be into you, but you can rest assured knowing that she at least has some level of interest.

A study has found that when people were made to hold a pen in their mouth (forced smile) while watching a cartoon, they rated the show as being more enjoyable to watch than those who did not have a pen in their mouth.

Making a girl laugh has much the same effect.

When a girl constantly laughs while she spends time with you, she is going to associate that positive emotion with you, and she will start to feel a stronger attraction toward you.

But, one thing you want to avoid doing is making too many self-deprecating jokes.

When you constantly joke about how short you are, or how stupid you are, it may make a girl laugh, but it is also going to diminish your value in a girl’s eyes.

These jokes are fine every once in a while, but you do not want to over-do them.

3. Be charismatic

If you are charismatic, you will hold a girl’s attention.

But what does it mean to be charismatic anyway?

There are several different ways you can become more charismatic, and we will talk about how you can accomplish that in greater detail in the latter part of this article, but let’s briefly go over a few here.

You first want to make sure you speak with passion. Avoid speaking with a monotone voice.

Have you ever taken a class in school where the lecturer spoke with the most boring, monotone?

It probably did not matter if he was talking about the most interesting thing in the world. It would have been incredibly difficult for you to pay attention to what he was saying because he did not know how to speak in an interesting way.

That is why you need to improve your voice if you want to be heard.

It is also important for you to eliminate any sort of weird nervous habits you may have when you are talking to a girl.

When you exhibit a lot of pacifying behaviors, such as flinching, fidgeting, and awkwardly laughing, it is going to take attention away from what you are saying.

The girl is then going to assume you must be a low-value male who is not confident in himself.

4. Do not reveal too much

Do not kill your mystery by rambling on and on about yourself if you want to hold a girl’s attention.

Make her wonder a little about you. The more curious she gets about you, the more she is going to think about you when you are not around her.

So, you will essentially be holding her attention even in the absence of your presence.

Many girls love trying to figure out what type of man you are.

Don’t take that gift away from her by revealing every little thing about yourself the first time you meet her.

There is a reason why girls find it more attractive when a guy smirks instead of making a wide, ear to ear smile.

It is because your intention appears more unclear when you smirk, which adds a bit of mysteriousness to your overall aura.

While you are not going to be able to maintain mysteriousness forever, it is an important part of the initial attraction phase.

By the way, this does not mean you should be disengaged when you interact with a girl because that will just backfire, and make a girl lose interest.

But, it does mean you need to keep your mouth closed every so often.

5. Speak with certainty

This is one of those areas where most men struggle.

Most men sound depressed when they speak, and they often speak with zero conviction.

A study has found a strong correlation between the tone of a person’s voice and severe depression.

It was revealed in the study that a participant who spoke with a monotone was much more likely to be suffering from severe depression than those who varied their tone more frequently.

So, when a girl hears you speak in a monotone, not only is she going quickly lose interest because you sound boring, she may also conclude you must be a sad, depressed person (which is never a good impression to leave).

There is no easy way to fix this apart from being aware of how you sound to others, and constantly putting an effort into speaking with more conviction, when you interact with people as you go about your day.

It is also a good idea to study a lot of great speakers, and really break down what makes them such an engaging speaker.

When you see a common pattern among all great speakers, it is probably a good idea for you to adopt the same habit.

6. Tease her

Teasing a girl is a great way to get her attention because it lets her know you do not put her on a pedestal.

This is especially good when you are talking to attractive girls because most men are quick to supplicate to them.

You do not have a mental bandwidth to tease a girl when you are stuck in your own head, and you are obsessively worried about what she thinks of you.

So, it is a great way to let yourself and others know that you are comfortable in your own skin.

But, you want to make sure you are playful when you tease a girl.

Many men make a mistake of not being playful enough when they tease a girl, and they often just end up offending her.

In fact, it is important for you to try to sprinkle in that playfulness along every part of your interaction with girls.

Have you ever met one of those guys who seem to be able to get away with saying anything?

This is exactly how they do it.

They are able to say things in a playful way and make it difficult for others to get mad, even if what they say may be considered offensive.

7. Be seen with hot girls

Now, we are onto the topic of social proof. There is nothing quite like social proof that grabs people’s attention.

Social proof is one of those triggers that every multi-billion dollar companies utilize to attract customers.

Why do you think you see Michael Jordan in the Nike commercial?

They are using him as a social proof to indirectly communicate to viewers that their brand is so good that even a legendary athlete like Michael Jordan uses their products.

If we are strictly talking about dating, the biggest social proof you can have is another hot girl.

When you are seen with hot girls, it indirectly communicates a lot of positive things about you to other girls.

First, it says you are not an awkward, weird guy since hot girls won’t be hanging out with a creep.

It also says you have a good personality since hot girls have more than enough options when it comes to who they choose to spend their time with.

A lot of girls will also show interest to prove themselves by trying to get your attention away from the hot girl you are with (girls are very competitive, and many have strong desires to prove they are better than the other one).

8. Listen instead of talking

Just keep your mouth closed and listen.

Take interest in getting to know the girl. We are all naturally selfish, and we love talking about ourselves.

Make the girl feel comfortable enough to open herself up to you, and she will start to feel there is a special connection between you and her, although she may know nothing about you.

Many men make a mistake of rambling on about their achievements, and all of the cool things they have done in their lives.

But little do they realize they come off as incredibly lame, and it only makes girls lose interest.

There is definitely a time and place for sharing your stories, thoughts, and opinions.

But for the most part, you want to let a girl talk instead of putting a focus of the conversation on you.

And being a good listener is not as simple as you bombarding her with one question after another.

When you don’t actually care about what a girl says, she will easily sense that, and she is going to turn her back away from you.

So, the key really is to take a genuine interest in getting to know her.

9. Pierce into her eyes

If you want to capture a girl’s attention, look into her pupils.

How many times do you think an attractive girl comes across a man who can hold eye contact while being completely relaxed in his own skin?

When you are able to look into her eyes without any fear of judgment or nervousness, you will stand out in her mind.

Women look into your eyes, first and foremost, to judge what type of man you are.

If she sees you flinch or nervously look away, she is going to automatically categorize you as a man she can’t take seriously.

I need to warn you, however, that there are a couple of things you want to avoid when you are making eye contact with her.

Some men get too obsessed with maintaining eye contact that they keep their eyes glued onto a girl for the entirety of their interaction with a girl.

This is going to scare the girl out, and you will be putting way too much pressure on her.

Maintain good solid eye contact for about 80% of the interaction, but don’t forget to look away (but NOT in an abrupt manner) every now and then.

You also do not want to tense muscles around your eyes. This gives you a very unnatural look, and it is going to make a girl feel way too uncomfortable to continue to talk to you.

10. Send mixed signals

This is similar to the concept of mysteriousness we mentioned earlier.

If you only supply a girl with one type of emotion, you are going to be predictable in her eyes.

When you become predictable, she is going to find you uninteresting, and it does not matter if it is a positive or negative emotion.

Someone who is always positive is going to appear fake and boring, and someone who is always negative is going to appear try-hard and unpleasant.

So, the key is to find that sweet spot.

Just when she is about to think you are this “nice guy” who only compliments a girl, throw in some tease to catch her off guard.

Just when she is about to think you are this “bad boy” who plays with a girl’s heart, open yourself up to her to show your more genuine side.

Not only will you appear more interesting in a girl’s eyes, but these mixed signals are also going to confuse the crap out of her brain.

And she won’t be able to resist continuously thinking about you in her head.

11. Be vulnerable

So, why is being vulnerable so effective in grabbing a girl’s attention and her heart?

It is because you are connecting to her on a deep emotional level instead of just scratching the surface layer of her emotion.

This is what is going to turn you into a guy that a girl says, “I don’t know what it is, but there is just something different about him…”

You may not even be her ideal type in terms of physical attractiveness, but you are going to be able to create such a strong bond that she can’t help but choose you over other more physically attractive men.

On top of that, most men are terrible at opening themselves up to another person.

Many of us wrongly believe we are showing our weakness by being vulnerable to others.

But, you need to realize it actually takes a stronger man to share his mistakes and flaws.

It does not mean you need to present yourself in such a way that you are begging for others to accept you.

No, you simply put your real self out there, and if others don’t accept you, then you are okay with that.

Funnily enough, your detachment from other’s approval will make you become even more magnetic to people around you, and you will begin to effortlessly draw girls (and people in general) into your world.

12. Get into a better shape

Yes, girls do indeed care about your fitness after all.

How many times have you heard girls say they only care about a guy’s personality and confidence?

It is true your personality plays a big part in attracting girls, but it would be foolish to say girls don’t also care about your physical appearance.

If a man’s body was such an insignificant part of the attraction for most girls, why would those erotic novels (that’s been sold millions of times to female readers) go into a vivid description about a chiseled body of the male protagonist?

Not only will your flat stomach and bulging biceps make you appear more attractive to girls, but they will also communicate that you take care of your health.

So, go do some squats and bench press. You won’t regret!

13. Dress to impress

What you wear says a lot about who you are.

If you think what someone wears does not matter, then think again.

Let’s say you see someone wearing a police officer uniform, and another person looking homeless.

The way you perceive those people will be entirely different before you even get to know them, just because of what they are wearing.

So, what you decide to wear can be a very powerful way to communicate your personality and status.

The first and foremost principle you want to keep in mind when it comes to which outfit you decide to wear is to wear something that fits your body.

For you to actually look good in fitted shirts, you would first have to sculpt an attractive body, which is why it is important for you to spend some time in the gym.

A cheap, fitted plain T-shirt on a lean body will look infinitely better than an expensive wardrobe on an out-of-shape body.

You also want to be aware of how you should dress depending on the type of environment you are in.

How foolish would it be for you to wear a suit when you are going to a hip hop club?

Wearing clothes that fit the environment shows you have a basic level of social intelligence, and it will also help you to be accepted as part of a group, rather than being perceived as an outsider.

14. Fix your posture

How you carry yourself makes a big difference in how girls perceive you.

When you walk around with confidence, and you walk with a sense of ease, girls will notice that.

But, it is not enough to just walk with an upright posture. Too many men get caught up with standing tall, but they don’t focus on how to become more relaxed while they are walking.

Even if you have a straight posture, you are not going to impress anyone with your posture if you walk around like you have a stick up your behind.

So, how do you become more relaxed with a good posture?

The solution isn’t to simply just walk more. People have been walking around for decades, and most people still have a poor posture.

You need to engage in a deliberate practice that will help you become more relaxed on a frequent basis.

This can be practicing meditation, doing yoga, or getting a massage.

Whatever activity that helps you to loosen up your body and helps your mind to stay calm will do the trick.

What is most important is you do it on a consistent basis.

15. Floss and whiten your teeth

I can’t count how many times girls have told me the first thing that they look at in a guy is a nice smile coupled with white teeth.

As superficial as it may sound, we just instinctively associate whiter teeth with better hygiene and cleanliness.

White teeth just look more visually appealing compared to yellow, stained teeth.

The first step to improving your oral aesthetics is to brush and floss your teeth on a daily basis.

I hope you already are brushing your teeth on a daily basis, but it can be quite annoying to bring yourself to floss your teeth every day if you are not used it.

This is something you just have to endure until it becomes a habit.

It is just like working out.

Initially, it takes a lot of willpower to get off your butt and go to the gym.

But the more you train, the easier it gets. Eventually, you will not need any willpower to go to the gym.

It will become second nature for you to get out of your bed and walk to the gym.

Once you get over the initial hump, you won’t need any willpower for you to floss daily.

16. Find your hairstyle

Optimizing your hairstyle may give you the highest return on investment for getting a girl’s attention.

It is a quick fix, but it will drastically change your impression for the better if you find a hairstyle that suits you well.

If you ever doubt the power of a good (or a bad) haircut, simply look up celebrities rocking different styles of hair, and you will realize how different they look depending on the way they style their hair.

If you are anything like me, you probably have no idea what type of hairstyle suits you the best.

In such a case, it only makes sense for you to seek help from an outside source.

Ask your barber what type of hairstyle he thinks will suit you the best, or lookup on the internet different hairstyles that are supposed to suit your face shape the best.

As with anything else in life, it is going to take some trial and error for you to figure out the right style, but it will totally be worth it.

17. Be confident

Last but not least, your confidence will attract a girl like nothing else.

Throughout this article, we have talked about a couple of traits that will make you appear confident, but it is also important for you to build your core confidence.

When you develop that core confidence, it will spread to every other area of your life.

You are killing two birds with one stone by developing your core confidence.

So, what then is the best way to develop your core confidence?

Do you develop it by staring at yourself in the mirror and do positive affirmations every day?

Or should you read hours of self-help books until you finally change your belief about yourself?

In my experience, the best way I have found to develop core confidence is to never stop growing.

And this doesn’t have to be something grand.

It can be working on your career, improving your eating habit, going to the gym more frequently, or reading more books.

Whatever activity that allows you to grow as a person in any area of life that you value is going to have a positive effect on building your core confidence.

As you become more confident in yourself, your behaviors are going to change for the better, and girls won’t be able to help but notice your presence.

So, these are my 17 tips on the best ways to get a girl’s attention.

It is now on you to go out there and apply these tips to transform your life!

When To Stop Chasing A Girl

Many articles talk about why you should stop chasing a girl and value yourself first.

But, not many articles talk about “when” is the right time to stop chasing a girl.

The truth is, there are more than a few instances when you want to stop pursuing a girl.

And to be fair, there are definitely times when you want to unapologetically go after a girl you are attracted to.

But, you never ever want to chase a girl at the expense of throwing away respect for yourself because things will end badly even if you do manage to attract her.

So, are you ready to hear the truth?

These are the times when you should stop chasing a girl

1. When she stops showing interest

When a girl stops showing interest, it is time to step back a little.

Out of many girls I have interacted with over the years, I have almost never had times when I gained a girl’s attention back by chasing more when a girl has stopped showing interest.

When you are coming on too close, it is only natural for her to step back.

If a girl is just being polite toward you without taking much interest in getting to know you, then that is often a good indicator for you to stop pursuing her.

There is no reason for you to take things personally. There can be a lot of different reasons as to why she does not feel the same way toward you at this moment of time.

She may be seeing another man. Things may be too hectic in her life. Maybe, she recently broke up, and she needs some time to find herself.

When you have enough social intelligence to give some space when a girl steps back, there is always a chance things may work out between you and the girl in the near future.

But, when you try to impose yourself by chasing her relentlessly when the girl is not ready, you are likely going to be labeled as a guy that just doesn’t “get it” in her mind.

2. When she has ignored you multiple times

If a girl has ignored you multiple times (two times in a row should be enough for you to realize you should stop pursuing her), then you should probably stop chasing her.

If a girl wanted to talk to you, she would have talked to you already.

Your third or fourth attempt to contact her is not going to magically make her want you.

In fact, she is most likely going to broadcast to all of her friends what a creep you are, and you may end up damaging your reputation among your friends if you share a lot of mutual friends with the girl.

You are probably only feeling this urge to contact a girl who is ignoring you because you do not have a lot of options in your dating life.

The solution is to go out and talk to a lot of girls, and this girl you are obsessing over will soon become a memory your past.

3. When there is no chemistry between you and her

Even if a girl is showing interest, you may not feel any chemistry with her.

In such an instance, most men would pursue a girl anyway if she is attractive enough, and he just wants some girl to get physically intimate with.

But, it won’t do you any good in the long run if you don’t have any standards when it comes to what type of girl you choose to spend your time with.

Not only are you going to have less respect for yourself, but it is also going to be just a waste of time for both you and the girl.

If you enjoy spending your free time doing certain things, but the girl can’t stand what you do, then there is going to be a constant clash between you and her.

For example, if your definition of having a good time is going to a self-help seminar and improving yourself, but her definition of having a good time is just lying on the beach for hours doing nothing, then things are not going to work out between the two of you in the long run.

You may as well cut things off early instead of complicating things further by dragging out a relationship that is destined to fail.

If you are just looking for a casual relationship, and she is on the same page with you, then go right ahead and do your thing.

4. When she is disrespectful

It really does not matter if a girl is showing interest, or if there is great sexual chemistry between you and the girl.

It is time for you to stop chasing a girl and cut things off if she is being disrespectful toward you.

If she talks to you in a condescending manner, or she constantly disrespects you in front of others, then you know she is not the right person for you.

You are inevitably going to have a diminished sense of self-worth when you let yourself chase a girl who blatantly disrespects you.

To make things worse, she is going to realize she can get away with disrespecting you, and her behaviors are only going to worsen over time.

It is time to man up, and walk away from her at this point.

5. When she is being manipulative

A girl can manipulate her man in a lot of different ways.

She may try to test your boundary by hanging out with a guy friend until late at night, and accuse you of being jealous if you get upset about it.

She may try to make you feel terrible about the smallest thing you have done to her and repeat that over and over again any time she is upset.

She may try to make you feel bad about hanging out with your friend, although you guys are already spending more than enough time together.

These are all subtle ways that a girl tries to manipulate and gain power over you.

One pattern you want to observe is if she is completely incapable of taking responsibility for herself.

If her entire conversation always revolves around how you are the one to mess things up, without ever acknowledging any of her faults, it is unlikely you are going to be able to sustain a healthy relationship with her.

These type of girls are very proficient at manipulating men into thinking everything is their fault.

She will erode your confidence and turn you into her little puppy.

6. When she always tries to have it her own way

It is a sign of extreme immaturity when a girl always has to have things her own way.

And it is easy for you to fall into a trap of chasing a girl like that if you find her physically appealing.

It will start with simple things, such as what days or times you guys should hang out.

It will then turn into only doing things that are convenient for her.

She will see you only when she needs you, and she will happily ignore you when she doesn’t.

Many men chase these girls (especially if the girl is attractive) because they are afraid they can’t do any better.

But, you need to realize you are not doing yourself any favor by choosing to spend your time with a woman like that.

There are plenty of attractive girls out there who are also respectful.

By choosing to stay with an immature girl who acts like a little kid, you are not giving yourself an opportunity to meet a mature girl who will enhance your life.

7. When you have to sacrifice your dignity as a man

It is time for you to stop chasing a girl when you have to lower yourself as a man, and this can really be anything.

For example, if you can’t even meet basic needs, and you are leeching off your parents, it is probably time for you to focus on being self-reliant rather than chasing after girls.

If a girl has cheated on you with another man, and she has been lying to you the whole time, you should walk away from her instead of trying to work things out.

When she talks to you as if you should be grateful to have her, without showing any appreciation to have you in her life, you should stop putting her on a pedestal.

You need to always put yourself first before anyone else, and a girl (who is emotionally healthy) wants you to do that as well.

A girl in her right mind is not going to want to be with a man who always supplicates to her.

She wants to be with a real man who has his own values and beliefs.

She wants to be with a man who is willing to stand up for himself when he is not treated fairly.

So, stop chasing a girl, who does not deserve your attention, and learn to value yourself first.

How To Arouse A Woman Over Text

Why bother arousing a woman over text when you can arouse her much more effectively in person?

And that is actually a fair question.

But, there can be several different reasons as to why it makes sense for you to learn how to arouse a woman over text.

You may be doing a long-distance relationship with your girlfriend for a certain period of time, and you need to help your woman fulfill her sexual desire somehow.

You may want to maintain sexual tension between you and the girl until you meet her in a couple of days.

You may also use texts as a way to build anticipation before you meet her to have sexy time with her.

Whatever your goal may be, knowing how to arouse a woman over text can be a great way to enhance your sexual value as a man.

So, are you ready to unlock the secrets to turn a woman on with your words?

These are 4 ways you can arouse a woman over text.

1. Build sexual tension over text

Send text messages that build sexual tension.

Texting has its weakness considering it is difficult to accurately convey emotions through words alone.

But, the fact it leaves a certain room for the reader’s interpretation can also serve as an advantage, and you can use this in your favor when it comes to building sexual tension.

So, why would you want to build sexual tension in the first place instead of being more explicit with your intent?

It’s because the higher you build those tensions, the better it will feel when they are finally released.

There is a famous story from East Asia that serves as a good analogy for this.

This one time, one of the higher-up government officials invited his co-workers over to his place.

But, instead of serving them food right away, he took hours before he finally served dinner for his guests.

And guess what people commented about his food?

They all praised how it is the best food they have ever had in their lifetime.

So, why did they feel this way?

This is because their desire to eat grew stronger as they had to wait a long time before they were finally served something to eat.

Just imagine how much better your food would taste if you had to endure hours of waiting, as you inhale that delicious smell of food being cooked prior to eating (although it would also be the worst type of torture for most of us…)

Sexual tension works much the same way.

When you build sexual tension by throwing subtle signs that arouse her, and you finally bless her with your gift to fulfill her desire, you may very well end up making her feel the type of sexual high she’s never experienced in her life.

So, let’s now talk about how you can build that sexual tension specifically over texts.

There are many different ways you can build sexual tension over text messages.

One example would be to allude to what she was wearing when she was with you.

If she was wearing a short skirt, you can talk about how you couldn’t stop staring at her beautiful behind (This is assuming you are already dating her…).

A woman wants to be observed and desired by the man she likes.

When she realizes you were subtly checking her out, and she can feel your passion for her body through your text, that is going to arouse her.

Another example of building sexual tension would be to make sexual innuendos any time you possibly can.

For example, if a girl talks about how you should eat more vegetables to stay healthy, you may reply back to her saying, “No, I would honestly rather eating something else that is a little more soft and wet… (wink face)”.

Once again, only send these texts to a girl who you have had a sexual history with (No worries. We will also talk about arousing a woman who you have not yet been physically intimate with, in the following sections).

I am going to have to assume you have enough common sense to not send these texts to girls who barely know anything about you.

2. Send her a provocative picture

Most women do not enjoy receiving nude pictures from a guy they do not know.

But, it is a different story if she’s already been naughty with you.

She already knows you. She has already touched you and felt you.

In such a case, your topless or nude pictures may very well arouse her.

Your nude picture can serve as a trigger for her to indulge in sexual experiences she’s shared with you.

If you want to go a level above that, you can include a few texts with the picture you are sending her.

You may wonder what sort of texts would go along with your nude pictures.

This is what I would recommend.

You can text a woman about what you would do to her, or you can text her about what you would make her do to your body.

Women want to be passionately desired by men.

She is going to be aroused when you let her know just how much you want her by being explicit with your words.

For example, when you send a picture of your private part, you may talk about how you want to passionately thrust your part into her body.

You can even be more explicit with your words depending on how kinky she is.

Before I say anything further, let me just preface it by saying that I fully believe in mutual respect between men and women.

With that being said, a lot of women like their men to take charge of the interaction and lead (in a way that is pleasurable for both parties).

Do you think a woman really wants her man to ask for her input on every little thing that they do together?

In such a case, she is just going to lose any attraction she has left for him.

Sometimes, you just need to take charge and give a command without hesitation (assuming there is a mutual consent).

And the same idea applies when it comes to a sexual relationship.

Can you imagine a man asking a girl if she likes what he is doing throughout the entirety of sexual interaction?

A girl’s private part would go completely dry by the end of it.

A girl does not want to be with a sex machine that touches her in a perfect way that stimulates her body (as much as that may be your dream…)

In fact, she could most likely give herself orgasm better than any man ever could.

Then, why would a woman want to be sexually intimate with any man in the first place?

It is because she wants to feel that masculine sexual energy from you. She wants a real human that wants her and desires her.

Anyway, that was a long explanation as to why you want to express your masculine desire with no shame.

So, let’s talk about a good way to tell a woman what you want to make her do to your body over text.

One example of this would be to tell her how you want to make her worship your tootsie roll (replace this with the name for your male organ when you text her…) as you stare deeply into her eyes.

When you unapologetically express your desire, whether it be in person or over text, she will often get mentally turned on by that.

3. Misinterpret her text

Whatever text you send a girl, you can intentionally misinterpret her text in a sexual way.

While this may not immediately arouse a girl, the first step to arousing a girl is to plant the idea of sex in her head.

And misinterpreting her text is a great way to accomplish that.

This is a good way to introduce sexual topics into a conversation because our society still expects men to make sexual advances when interacting with a woman.

So, when you flip the script and accuse the woman of being more sexual than you are, it will often catch her off guard.

By doing this, you are also indirectly communicating to a woman that you understand women are just as sexual as men, and sex is something that is normal between two consenting adults.

It is rare for a woman to come across a man who understands this, and you will most likely be a breath of fresh air for her.

Many men wrongly believe that women do not enjoy sex as much as men do, and this could not be further from the truth.

When women do not feel judged by men, then they will become fearless in expressing their sexual desires.

But, they will hold back if they can sense even a little bit of judgment coming from you.

When you misinterpret what a woman says by turning it sexual (as long as you do it the correct way with a girl who is receptive), you are going to make it more comfortable for her to open up to you sexually.

So, let me now give you some concrete examples as to how you can misinterpret a woman’s text.

  • She says she is so hungry that she can a large pizza on her own, you then joke about how she likes them big.
  • She says she wants to be with a guy who is good with his hand, and you tell her it is indeed important for a man to know how to use his hands to please a woman.
  • She says she is going to have a quick 10-minute break for lunch, and you tell her that is all the time you need with a cheeky emoji.
  • She says she is cleaning up her place, and you ask if she is going to at least take you out for dinner first before she invites you over to her place.
  • She says she is wet because she was walking out in the rain, and you tell her if she is really soaking wet everywhere.

4. Master dirty texting

Once again, dirty texting mostly applies to text messaging a woman who you have had a sexual relationship with.

But it can work well even with a woman who you have not yet had sex with if you know how to slowly escalate your text conversation.

The most important part of dirty texting (and dirty talking for that matter) is to paint a clear, vivid image in her head, so you make it easy for her to get aroused.

A simple text such as, “I want to touch your breast” is not going to cut it because it just does not paint a strong image in a woman’s head.

So, let’s talk about the principles you should follow to paint a vivid image in her head.


Specifying details is important when it comes to helping a woman create an image in her head.

Dirty texting is much like telling a good story to another person. When you provide more relevant details as you tell your stories, the listener is going to be able to more easily immerse herself into the story.

Let me give you an example to help you better understand.

The first sentence is an example of a dirty text that lacks details, and the second sentence is an example with more relevant details.

“I am going to touch your nipple and then I will put my finger into your vagene (replace the word with female sexual organ…)


“I am going to gently caress your erect nipples as I slowly glide my other hand down your body until I reach your dripping vagene.”

Do you see the difference?


Generally speaking, you want your text to be as primal as it possibly can.

You are texting her dirty words because you feel that strong desire to get naughty with her.

You want to unleash that primal desire and fully express it over text.

Instead of talking about how you want to make gentle love to her, you would be better off talking about what kind of bad things (sexually) you want to do to her.

Most girls would get more turned on by hearing you talk about how you would throw her on the bed and do terrible things to her, as opposed you talking about making sweet love to her, from a missionary position.

So, do not be afraid to embrace your animalistic side to arouse a woman when you are talking to her over text (assuming you know, for sure, she is into that as well).

Anyway, those are my tips on how you can arouse a woman over text.

Don’t forget that consent comes first before anything else!

Do Women Like To Be Called Beautiful?

The short answer is yes. Women do indeed like to be called beautiful.

But the real question is, why do you want to call her beautiful? What are you hoping to accomplish?

Do you simply want to give her that positive emotion, or is it because you secretly want her to like you?

You need to clearly define what outcome you are looking for by calling her beautiful.

If you simply want to make her day, then there is no reason to over-think.

You can go ahead and tell her she is beautiful since everyone likes hearing compliments.

But, if you want her to like you, then it may be a slightly different story, and that is what I want to help you understand in this article.

So, let’s talk about that.

1. Call her beautiful if you are beautiful

What do I mean by this?

If you are a good looking guy, you can usually get away with calling a girl beautiful, without coming off as a loser, because you already have a lot of value in a girl’s eyes.

As harsh as it may sound, a good looking man is less likely to come off as a desperate loser, who is trying to pick a girl up, when he compliments her.

This is a consistent pattern I have noticed from years of going out.

Most of my good looking friends had no issue picking up a woman by walking up to her and telling her she is beautiful.

They would often get an instant attraction from a girl without doing much, and the girl would often go out of her way to make it as easy as she possibly could for them to approach her.

So, why does a girl like to be called beautiful by a good looking man?

It is because there is a value gap between him and the girl (assuming she is not as attractive as him comparatively).

It feels good to be acknowledged by someone who we perceive as having a higher value than us.

2. Do not call her beautiful if you aren’t

Generally speaking, you don’t want to call a woman beautiful if you are an average (or a below-average) looking dude, and your intention of telling her she is beautiful is to get with her.

If you are not so physically attractive and the first thing you do is to compliment a girl, you are essentially forcing a girl to make a decision based on your physical appearance alone (much like online dating apps where people make a snap judgment based on your pictures alone.).

This prevents you from getting a chance to fully show your personality.

Unfortunately, if you are an average looking dude like me, you will often be perceived as low-value in a girl’s eyes, to begin with (Yes, I know it is not what most people like to hear, but I’ve got to keep it real).

You can’t afford to lose any more value in her eyes by being super direct off the bat in the interaction.

So, if you really want to compliment a girl, try to stick with compliments that are not so focused on her physical attractiveness.

Is there anything unique you notice about her?

Maybe, it is her outfit or the tattoos she has on her body.

Anything is better than a generic, “You are beautiful.”

3. Your status matters

For the same reason why your looks matter, your status makes a big difference in how she is going to respond to your compliment.

If you have a perceived higher status than a girl in a given environment, then your compliment is going to carry a lot of weight.

For example, a professor giving a compliment to his student means much more than a student giving a compliment to the professor.

It is because the student views his professor as an authority, and it makes him feel good to be acknowledged by the professor, who is in a higher position than him.

On the contrary, how would you feel if you were walking down the street and some homeless person tells you, you are handsome?

It would probably not arouse much emotion in you, if at all.

In fact, you would probably think he is complimenting you because he wants to get something from you.sss

And that is often how a girl feels when she is complimented by a random man with no good looks or status.

If you are in an environment where it is ambiguous for you to tell if a girl sees you as high-status, you can gauge her perception toward you by observing the way acts around you.

Does she pay attention to you when you are talking?

Is her body facing toward you?

Does she readily accept your request when you suggest her to do something?

All of these can be great indicators in finding out that a girl perceives you as a high-status man.

In such a case, you can really say whatever you want to a girl (Yes, even generic compliments), and she will be flattered by any and every word that comes out of your mouth.

4. Do this if she is beautiful

So far, we have talked about whether you should call a girl beautiful depending on factors that are relevant to you.

But, it also matters how a girl perceives herself.

If a girl is actually beautiful, then chances are, she is told she is beautiful by men wherever she goes.

So, how do you think a girl would respond when you repeat a compliment that she’s heard millions of times by other men?

She is automatically going to assume you are like every other loser who tries to get inside her pants.

This is why you want to avoid calling a girl beautiful if she is actually beautiful.

The last thing you want to do is to blend in with every other man that she encounters on a daily basis.

When people zig, you want to zag.

So, what is a better way to approach your interaction with a beautiful girl, rather than directly telling her she is beautiful?

It is better if you start your interaction by commenting on something that stands out about a girl apart from her physical beauty.

My personal favorite is to comment on a girl’s facial expression, or how she carries herself. This lets the girl know that you “get” her.

By not being so “full-on” with your intent, you are giving her a chance to experience your personality first before she makes a judgment about you.

With attractive girls, you want to spend some time to get to know them, and this will allow them to get to know you better.

Your personality (assuming you have a good personality) can be an incredibly potent tool for attracting a girl if you give her enough time to get to know you, so play your cards right.

Let a girl realize you care more than just her beauty.

5. Do this if she is not so beautiful

If you are talking to a girl who is not exactly beautiful by an objective standard (Yes… yes. I know we are all beautiful in different ways), then it is somewhat different story.

If a girl has not been validated for her beauty growing up, then there is a good chance she is going to respond well to your compliments regarding her appearance (assuming she is not too insecure).

This is one of the rare scenarios where it may not be a bad idea to tell a girl she is beautiful.

Since the girl (who is not physically attractive) is not used to hearing compliments about her physical appearance, she is going to have a lot stronger emotional response to your compliments than girls who are used to hearing compliments all the time.

But even with not-so-physically-attractive-girls, you want to stay away from making generic compliments.

No matter what type of a girl you talk to, it is always better if you can make a compliment that is unique to a girl.

6. One more reason to avoid compliments

So far, we have talked about why women may or may not like to be called beautiful under different circumstances.

But, let’s discuss a little further about why you would probably want to avoid calling a girl beautiful if you absolutely had to pick between the two options.

I want you to realize most of us do not value something we did not have to work for.

When you initiate a conversation by complimenting a girl, it lets her know your validation does not amount to much.

Your compliment is like a cheap commodity that can be found anywhere.

You are also indirectly implying she is the prize that needs to be won when you start off your interaction by calling her beautiful.

And there is a good chance you are going to be playing the chasing game throughout your entire interaction.

Instead, you want to start off your interaction with a girl on equal footing.

7. Be honest with why you want to call her beautiful

Finally, ask yourself why you feel the urge to call a girl beautiful.

There are many different ways you can let a girl know how you feel about her, so why do you feel the need to get her attention by complimenting her?

Is it because you feel like you need to win her heart over by flattering her?

Do you feel like you need to be nice to a girl for her to like you?

I don’t know about you, but I had always defaulted into complimenting a girl whenever I did not feel completely secure in myself.

I always used it as a “crutch” when I failed to find something interesting to say.

So, you really want to be honest with yourself and ask what it is that is causing you to default into this pattern.

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