So today I want to talk about the biggest myth when it comes to attracting women.
If you have ever looked up articles or videos on how to approach or pick up girls…
How many times have you seen a long in-depth Facebook post or an in-depth Youtube video breakdown of how this “Pick-up God” did all these hundred different things to attract girls.
They sure are entertaining to read just like reading a novel
But it cracks me up every time I come across one of those articles or videos because I know the “reality”.
Guys who do not have much experience with girls see those and think to themselves, “Wow… he did all these hundreds of magical things to attract girls… he must be God at picking up girls… I bet he can attract any girl on command”
Knowing the truth behind the scenes, I know there are only two or three things at most that actually made a difference. The rest of the details are just fluffs that will serve to make you even more confused.
Many guys read or watch one of those in-depth dating guides and think they are getting so much value out of them. Yet, they are still terrible with girls and their life hasn’t changed one bit.
At the end of the day, it really does not matter how much knowledge you have about attracting girls. There are plenty of guys who read hundreds of books on seduction and they’ve reached that absolute mastery in terms of knowledge, but they still can’t hold a conversation with a girl.
In fact, sitting there and just accumulating this knowledge often does you more harm because your ego grows bigger and you become more delusional in your own ability as you sit in your room engaging in this mental masturbation.
You start developing this false sense of reality of what you are capable of since you never actually go out to test your knowledge and find out for yourself what does or doesn’t work in real life.
Anyway, that was a little bit of rant but the real topic I wanted to discuss is why attraction often has nothing to do with you but have all to do with the girl and her environment.
Let me just point out that I am not undermining the importance of your personality but I see so many guys think it’s ALL about their personality (or game..) which is very far from the truth.
Some guys might see this and say, “Oh… but the correct mindset is to assume 100% responsibility and believe everything is within your control…!”
Yes, I’m all for adopting that positive mindset of believing there’s always something you can do better to shift the outcome in your favor.
And that is the entire point of this article because if you don’t acknowledge the importance of the environment then you will never be able to use the environment in your favor.
With that being said, let’s talk about the first myth…
The first myth is that…
The girl is so in love with you because of your amazing game and personality. It is easy for guys who get into learning about seduction to fall into this trap because you start developing a little bit of narcissism as you get better with girls.
So, what is the reality in most cases?
The reality is that the girl that is so attached to you because of your fantastic personality just does not meet a lot of cool guys in real life. She’s feeling strong attachment toward you for the time being.
As soon as a decently attractive and charming dude appears in her life, she won’t be so attached to your magnetic personality all of a sudden.
Do you ever notice it is a lot easier for you to feel attached to some girl when you don’t have too much option in your life?
For some reason, your brain comes up with this amazing reason on why the girl you are seeing is perfect although she may very well be just average in reality.
Your brain convinces you into thinking that this girl may very well be the “one”.
The girl simply will not feel such a strong attachment toward you if she’s constantly surrounded by attractive guys who know how to charm her.
The second myth is also very widely spread in the seduction community.
And it is that…
In fact, it plays a huge factor. Most of my friends who traveled and went out in a lot of different cities across the world agree that it’s infinitely easier to attract girls in party cities like Budapest, Vegas, and Sydney.
Why do you think a lot of dating coaches teach guys in these cities? It is because it’s a lot easier to get their students results. There’s nothing wrong with this. But you will be struck with harsh reality if you think it would be just as easy to attract girls when you are back home (Unless you live in one of those party cities that is…)
Once again, you are not evading responsibility by acknowledging these differences.
When you have an accurate sense of reality then you can come up with a better plan on how you can maximize your chance. How ridiculous would it be for you to go to Togo and think you will have the same chance of creating a successful business as if you were to start a business in the United States?
The correct way to take full responsibility would be to get out of Togo and move to the First World country where you have a much higher chance of succeeding.
So, if you have this grand vision of being a total pimp and sleep with thousands of girls in your lifetime (it is sarcasm…), you are making it much more difficult for yourself by not moving to one of those cities I mentioned.
But it really isn’t as much of a big deal if you simply want to find that one special girl.
The third myth is that…
The girl went home with you because of your magnetic personality.
This one is slightly different than the first point I mentioned.
For this, I’m picturing more of one-night stand scenario.
Many guys – especially pick up guys – love to believe it was their impeccable game that aroused an innocent and conservative girl to make her want to have sex with them.
In reality, these girls were just ready to accept any penis into their vagina. It was just a matter of which penis is going to enter her at the end of the night.
Your magnetic game played less than 30% of the role in influencing her decision. Any normal dude who is not shy and awkward would’ve had an equal shot at entering her sugar wall.
I really came to realize this after witnessing so many girls who were willing to sleep with a whole bunch of guys either at once or one at a time.
If it really was specifically your magnetic personality that the girl was attracted to, why the heck is she more than happy to sleep with your friends as well?
The truth is you just happened to be beside her at the right time at the right place.
The last myth I want to talk about is that…
I see this interesting trend in the community where everyone used to believe looks do not matter and it’s all about game to now believing it is all about looks.
The cycle just seems to rinse and repeat.
The truth lies somewhere in the middle as always.
Say there is one Asian guy with an average personality and a White guy with an amazing personality.
Let’s say these two guys are talking to a girl who has a fetish for Asian guys.
Who do you think will win a girl’s heart?
It will be the Asian guy despite his not so amazing personality.
Having good game with girls will not make up for a strong preference that the girl already has.
The good news is most girls do not have a strong pre-existing preference.
That is also why it is crucial to learn how to present yourself as an attractive dude.
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