So, what exactly do I want to say about Asian masculinities?
I recently came across this Facebook post that was written by an Asian girl and it compelled me to write this article.
The post was written on a Facebook page of one of the top Universities in Canada… which may be rather shocking for some… since Canada is not exactly known for such overt racism.
But, here is the summary version of it…
The Asian girl who wrote the post was saying how any time she would express her preference toward Asian guys to her friends (Other Asian girls) over guys from other race, they would accuse her of being a “racist”.
The girl specified in the post that she doesn’t “only” prefer Asian guys but rather it’s just a slight more preference due to similar cultural background and having similar values.
Nonetheless, her friends still gave her more shit than she was willing to deal with.
Meanwhile, these same Asian girls only preferred to date outside of their race for the reasons like “Asian guys are too small”… “They have a little dick”.
But the story gets even better (or worse…).
She said she had more than a few occasions when she was out with her boyfriend (Asian), she had guys come up to her and tell her how she should come home with them because they can give her a “better” time while her boyfriend was standing beside her.
So, what exactly do I think about this?
Well… whether we like to admit it or not, it really is an unfortunate reality for a lot of Asian guys.
We are heavily emasculated by the media and made to believe that no woman desires us.
What do you think such brainwashing does to most Asian guys?
It just completely kills any of our confidence when it comes to women.
And we start internalizing that we are worthless in any area related to attraction and sex.
So you may be thinking…
What exactly can you do as an Asian man?
Well, here’s the truth.
It’s going to take some time (and most likely won’t happen in your lifetime) before the society changes their general perception of Asian men as being equal to men of other races when it comes to dating.
And if you decide you are going to go on a mission to change the societal perception of Asian men, then I seriously applaud you for that.
But, if that doesn’t apply to you, then you are literally just wasting your time and life sitting there complaining about the issue.
Although the first part of this article may have very well made your blood boil (If you are an Asian dude that is..), not all hope is lost.
Based on what I have observed from years of going out, if you are an attractive guy – no matter what race you are – you will have no problem with girls.
When I say “attractive guy”, a lot of people may assume I’m only talking about physical attractiveness.
But that is FAR from being the only factor when it comes to attracting girls.
As cliche as it may sound, your personality really does play a big role for most girls.
So much so that my 5’3 Filipino friend who is average looking completely kills it when it comes to attracting the ladies.
If you are an Asian dude struggling with girls, then there really is one solution.
And that is for you to learn how to present yourself as an attractive guy… or learn “game” as some people may prefer to call it.
I also want to emphasize this one point.
So many Asian guys suffer from a nice guy syndrome and they refuse to view women as who they “really” are.
For example, I see this happening in one of the Facebook groups (Where the group members are mostly Asian) I’m in ALL the time.
Any time an Asian woman raises concerns about injustice toward Asian women while completely demeaning Asian guys, these guys are the first to agree with everything that the girl says.
They have completely made themselves to believe that men should never disagree with women and it is their duty to do anything within their power to please women.
And they sub-consciously believe THAT is what is going to make women like them.
But little do they realize… that a lot of these girls are getting ravaged by dudes who have zero ounces of respect for girls.
Now… before anyone gets pissed off, I understand that it does not apply to ALL girls.
But let me just tell you this…
It does apply to a LOT more girls than you probably think.
Anyway, back to the topic…
So, how exactly should you carry yourself as an Asian guy?
To be honest, there are so many things I can say about this topic and I can literally go for days talking about it (If you are not one of those stereotypical Asian dudes, then feel free to stop reading at this point).
But, here is one thing I REALLY want to emphasize for any Asian dude that is reading this.
And that is to…
Stand up for yourself.
Don’t let others walk all over you and learn to express what is within you.
If you are not happy with what someone’s doing then learn to let them know instead of holding it in.
I was always taught as a kid to be a “big man” and just walk away if someone gives me shit.
But I’ve come to realize over the years that there are times when you just have to show the world you are not willing to back off if you want to command respect.
So many of us are conditioned to suppress our emotion and just maintain “harmony”.
Little did I realize that was a great recipe to get disrespect by others and lower my sense of self-worth in the process.
If some mo-fo is mistreating you for no good reason, then it really is about time you to stand up for yourself and be different than all the other Asian dudes that would remain quiet in such a situation.
And that is how the change begins.
It starts with YOU.
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