Before we dive in, we need to answer this one question.
Why do you experience that intense fear of talking to a girl?
What exactly is going on in your brain that is stopping you from being yourself around girls?
There can be dozens of reasons why you feel crippled with fear around girls.
But, we will focus on the root cause in this article.
We fear the unknown.
If you weren’t around girls too much growing up, it only makes sense for you to feel uneasy around them.
Think back on all the times you did something for the very first time.
Your first time on a bike… your first time driving a car… your first time inside the pool.
These were all frightening experiences that made your heart race.
But, I would imagine you can do most of these with little to no fear at this point of your life.
If your fear mostly comes from inexperience with girls, then it is something that is not too difficult to fix as you will soon find out in this article.
This is pretty much the root of all social anxiety.
Those little voices in your brain that are telling you…
“What is this person thinking of me?”
“Does she think I walk funny?”
“Is she laughing at me because she thinks I’m weird?”
If you have ever experienced social anxiety, then it should not be too difficult for you to relate to those voices.
You essentially care way too much about what a girl thinks of you.
You think she is standing there judging every one of your behaviors.
It is completely normal for you to care about how a girl perceives you. But, it becomes problematic if that takes up too much space in your mind.
And, it is especially problematic if you let the fear of her judgment stifle you from being your true self.
The best antidote for overcoming your fear is massive action.
No amount of reading or meditation will help eradicate those fears.
You simply have to get out there and face your fears.
Start with the girls you already know (girls from school, work, etc).
If you experience intense fear around girls, there is a good chance you do not feel at complete ease even with the girls you already know.
Your goal should be to practice being completely relaxed around the girls you already know.
If you don’t know any girl, then you simply need to start talking to girls in places where you most frequent.
As you get more comfortable around girls, you will stop putting them on a pedestal.
You will begin to realize they are just like you with petty concerns and insecurities.
Once you get used to the previous step, it is time for you to take it one step further, by initiating a conversation with girls you do not know.
But, the standard pick-up advice to cold approach a random girl on the street would be way too much to ask at this stage.
Here is what I suggest instead.
Look for an opportunity to initiate a conversation with strangers (not just girls but with anyone really) as you go about your day.
You see a girl at the gym struggling to figure out how to use the equipment? Go help her out and talk to her.
You see a girl looking confused on your school campus? Let her know she is looking confused and ask if she needs help.
This, in my opinion, is a much better way to overcome your fear of talking to girls you don’t know, as opposed to walking up to a random girl and abruptly trying to stop them.
As you accumulate more and more experience with girls, you will notice your fears slowly subside.
On a side note, this approach can be used to overcome fear for any stage of your interaction with girls.
Let’s say you have a fear of going for the kiss or asking a girl to come back home with you.
The way you overcome any of these fear is by repeatedly putting yourself into that situation over and over again until you become desensitized to it.
You may be thinking I am talking BS since I specifically talked about how meditation is not going to eradicate your fear earlier.
But, let me explain.
Meditation alone is definitely not going to do much for overcoming your fear of talking to girls.
But, it can serve to multiply your results when it is coupled with massive action.
For example, stretching frequently alone is not going to make you a better athlete.
But, it will help you to stay healthy and injury free, which will indirectly help you become a better athlete.
Meditation works much the same way.
You will be more present when you are in a conversation with girls.
You will have an easier time getting out of your head and connecting with the person that is standing in front of you.
It will calm your nerves, which will help you feel more grounded under all circumstances.
I need to emphasize, however, that it is not a replacement for tackling your fears head-on.
But, it is an excellent supplement without a doubt.
Well, I am sort of serious.
But probably not for the reasons you think.
When you take up a hobby like yoga, you are going to be surrounded by quite attractive girls.
This will essentially force you to become comfortable around girls.
If you are not used to being around girls, it is going to be scary to even take that first step to sign up for the class.
But once you get over that initial mental hump and show up to the class, you are going to inevitably interact with girls in the class.
Over time, you will start feeling less nervous being around them.
And, it will soon feel normal for you to be around attractive girls.
This is a big milestone since you can only freely express yourself once you are relaxed around others.
This specifically applies to you if you are extremely shy and awkward.
If you barely have any close friends and you become so stifled in social situations to the point your mind goes completely blank, you may have to seek professional help.
Some people have such a deep mental issue, that they are able to understand what to do in their head, but find it impossible to implement it in practice.
But, it is unlikely you fall into this category.
Let me give you an example of a person who actually had a deep mental issue.
I once helped a guy who suffered from a lot of anxiety.
While we were out together, I would advise him to maintain his eye contact with girls when he first approached them.
He would tell me he understood then proceed to make the same mistake over and over again.
Over the course of a few hours, I would repeatedly remind him to fix his issue.
And he would assure me he understood, only to make the same mistake again.
It was as if my words entered one side of his ear and slipped right out of the other side of his ear.
If you are able to listen, process information, and implement them, then you definitely do not fall into this category.
All you need to do is go out and get enough repetitions until your fear disappears.
It is now time for you to go out and take that massive action to conquer your fear!
I was Introduced to the world of seduction after being a virgin for the first 26 years of life and being dumped by my first girlfriend at the age of 28. The dating world wasn't so kind to a 28-year-old Asian man who barely had any experience with girls. But, I eventually cracked the "code" and began "attracting" two to three new girls a week on average when I was actively going out. I'm not mentioning that to impress you but to impress upon you that you can take your dating life to the next level... IF you are equipped with the right knowledge and a desire to take massive action.
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